Spotted: DC [Summer] Interns

Spotted: Stay Classy, Stay Classy

2011-06-30T14:18:00.002-04:00

Late on a weekend night a group of highly intoxicated female interns stumbled onto the metro. Like most of the other passengers on the train, it appeared this group was headed to Adams Morgan or the like for some frat-like binge drinking. Unfortunately, a few of the interns had pre-gamed a little too hard.

One intern, in particular, was not looking too hot. She was rocking back and forth in her seat, clutching her heels to her stomach. One of her girlfriends had wrapped an arm around her and was whispering into her ear. The rest of the interns started to get quiet. Their drunken giggling became hushed, concerned whispers as they stared at their sick friend. Other passengers started exchanging worried gazes throughout the car. “Is this girl serious? Really, on my car?”

Sure enough, the sick intern gave a little hiccup. Her chest buckled, and she started to vomit.

First, this intern, vomit girl, started puking into her heels on her lap. A flustered friend hastily dumped out the contents of her purse and instructed her to do her business in the purse. Passengers nearby held their noses and bolted for the back of the car while the rest of us rubber-necked to get a better look at the action.

Luckily, we had just arrived at a stop. Vomit girl, dazed, looked up and quickly ran to the doors of the metro. She stuck her head outside of the car, and let loose. As the doors shut she snapped her head back into the car and stumbled back to her seat, nearly falling on the floor. I could see a tan puddle outside on the platform. At this point, other passengers in the car were laughing out loud at the comedy unfolding in front of them. I kid you not, people were clapping.

I though vomit girl was done, but there was no such luck. This time, round two, she did not have the courtesy to vomit in her heels, or a purse. She pulled the trigger and the mess landed in the middle of the floor of the car, leaving a puddle of slime for passengers to carefully tiptoe around.

Despite being intoxicated beyond belief, the rest of vomit girl’s intern friends look worried. At the next stop they got off the metro, dragging her along with them. One of the interns looked back as she exited, hastily threw a page of newspaper over the mess on the floor, and gave the other passengers a cute, worried smile. Thanks, vomit girl’s friend. That helped.

Meanwhile, once vomit girl got off the train she bolted across the platform to the other set of tracks where she proceeded to...yup, you guessed it!

Stay classy summer interns, stay classy.

Heard: Senate versus Congress

2011-06-30T14:15:00.002-04:00

My roommate and I went out for drinks at a bar in Georgetown. It being early June and the start of the summer hillterns, we weren't surprised by the seemingly young crowd at the bar. One young man approached us (as had a handful of other barely 21-year-olds) and asked if we lived in DC. He was a senior in college, a born and raised DC native, and interning at some consulting firm. He asked if we were interns on the Hill (we are both in our mid-20s and former Hill interns), and we obliged and said yes we had had our stints in Congress. Eager to strut his vast knowledge of the Hill, we had the following exchange:

Intern: So did you intern in the Senate or in Congress?
Me: You mean did I intern in the Senate or the House?
Intern: Nooo, I mean were you in the Senate or Congress?
Me: I was in the House.
Intern: So you were in Congress, right?

Not only is it bad enough that there are still adults that do not understand what Congress is, but the fact that he grew up in DC and went to a decent school really makes me question some of these college degrees that are being handed out.

Spotted: Too Many Museums

2011-06-30T14:12:00.001-04:00

It turns out, some interns DO grow out of their stupidity.

In my early twenties I was an intern at the Smithsonian. Normally, when you enter any of the Smithsonian museums, you must hand your purse or bag to a guard while they inspect it. After visiting a few of the museums, I noticed that one of the nice perks of being a badge-carrying Smithsonian employee (at least when I worked there) is that you could skip this part of the process and the guards would just wave you through. Needless to say, as a young intern, this type of ego-boost went straight to my head. After a few weeks of work, my parents were in town and our plan was to visit a few of the "museums that I worked for." The first one that we went to was the National Gallery of Art. I sauntered up to the guards, my parents in tow, and instead of handing over my purse, I flashed him my Smithsonian badge. He looked straight at me and said, "Nope, that ain't gonna work here," and asked for my purse.

Tip: It helps to know who you actually work for...the National Gallery of Art IS NOT a part of the Smithsonian.

Heard: Email, Call, Email, Call ...

2011-06-30T14:10:00.002-04:00

Today I called a Hill office and spoke with an intern. I asked to speak to a specific member of their staff so I could get their email, and was told that if I left my email that person would get back to me. Five minutes later, I received an email from said intern saying if I call the office they can transfer me to the staffer's line, they just can't give the email out freely. The only appropriate response I can think of for this intern is, "Why didn't you just connect me the first time?"

Heard: Senators are in Cannon

2011-06-30T14:08:00.002-04:00

A colleague and I were in the elevator in Rayburn earlier this week discussing our schedule of meetings that day.

Me, to my colleague: “Our next meeting is in Cannon. Do you think we will have time to stop by and see Senator (X) later this afternoon?”

Helpful intern, listening to our conversation: “Oh you shouldn’t have any problem. I am pretty sure all of the Senator’s offices are in Cannon.”

Spotted: Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a Pirate's Life [is not] for Me

2011-06-09T00:12:00.001-04:00

I was on the metro, riding home from U Street late on a Friday night when a group of 10 young, very intoxicated interns got on, heading back to their intern crash pads somewhere in Virginia. To my unpleasant surprise, one of them chose to approach me.

Intern 1: Would you like me to hit on you?

Me: Please, no.

(The intern sits down next to me)

Interns 2-10: DO THE PIRATE VOICE!!!

Intern 1: Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

Me: Say what?

Intern 1: How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

Me: What exactly is going on?

Intern 1 (in his pirate voice): I learned all these awesome pick-up lines for talk-like-a-pirate day, and they were so successful with the girl intern in my office I just had to try them again.

Me: Oh, ok. Y’all have a good night.

As I moved quickly to escape the crowd of interns I overheard one last comment: “Way to go man… She was totally interested.” And all I could do was laugh so hard that I had to stop on the platform to catch my breath.

Note to the interns: A. Thanks for providing a bright moment of ridiculous entertainment on my way home. B. Next time, don’t try to validate your pick-up lines by noting how successful they were on the ridiculous interns that this blog is all about…

Spotted: Wrong Staff

2011-06-09T00:07:00.000-04:00

On my way to the Memorial Day concert I walked behind a girl who was strutting with her head held high and badge clipped to her hip. She looked around to find an entrance to the well guarded area. I watched her walk into the entrance marked 'Staff and Police'. She estutely approaches the security guards at the entrance, reaches to subtley show the security her badge when they say, "sorry, wrong staff, your entrance is on the other side." Intern.

Event: InternsROCK!

2011-06-07T18:16:00.002-04:00

In 2010 The Washington Center launched the first InternsROCK! a city-wide appreciation week. The initiative honors approximately 20,000 interns who come to the nation’s capital each year to test-drive their careers at local businesses nonprofits and government agencies. Last year, 60 restaurants, museums, sporting venues, concert halls and boutique retail outlets came together and offered a variety of discounts to all interns in Washington, D.C.

In its second year, InternsROCK! will be held from June 10th through June 19th and the program has been expanded to include more partnerships with community businesses and several special events.

All Washington DC interns can take advantage of this event at no cost. Here’s more information about the event.

WHO? All interns are eligible for receive discounts free of charge. In order to qualify, they’ll need to pick-up a wristband that they’ll have to show to receive the discounts. Interns will need to show proof of internship when picking-up the wristband at TWC. They can bring a letter from the supervisor, a written note, e-mail confirmation, etc.

HOW? Wristbands are available this week. Visit our site to see times, dates and locations:http://www.internsrockdc.com/interns

For questions, please contact TWC at:
Visit our website: www.internsrockdc.com
Like us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/internsrock
Use our official hashtag on Twitter: #internsrock
Follow us on Foursquare: https://foursquare.com/user/9750473

Event: Grand Central

2011-06-07T18:14:00.003-04:00

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Grand Central
2447 18th St NW
Washington, DC 20009

Campus Progress invites you to celebrate young progressives living, working, and interning in Washington, DC with our annual Summer Kick-Off Party! Come meet and hang out with other young people living and working in DC, as well as learn about Campus Progress' programs, campaigns, and the 2011 Campus Progress National Conference!

Enjoy FREE drinks from 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

You must be 18+ to enter, 21+ to drink. A valid ID is required upon entrance. No cover!

RSVP here

Heard: LC or LC?

2011-06-07T18:11:00.000-04:00

I was in line to get into the Library of Congress Madison Building to go to CRS training. There must have been an intern training also starting at the same time cause I was swamped by them. There are two doors into the building and they say these respective titles "LC Staff or Congressional Staff" and "General Public." While walking up to the doors, the interns behind me said:

Girl Intern: Oh LC that means Legislative Correspondent

Guy Intern: Or Library of Congress...

Girl Intern: NO the guide book they gave us said LEGISLATIVE CORRESPONDENT ... you're wrong.

Apparently Legislative Correspondents differ from Congressional Staff ...

Heard: Are YOU an Intern?

2011-06-05T11:07:00.000-04:00

Not quite one of your usual stories, however:

I was at the Hawk and Dove this evening with some friends (post-concert dinner/drinks), and had to wash my hands. I was getting ready to exit the bathroom when I met somebody coming in - we had the following (admittedly approximated) exchange.

HIM: Are you an intern?
ME: Uh...no, I'm not...
HIM: Oh, sorry.
ME: after a pause Are you looking for someone to put up on that intern blog?
HIM: Uh...yes, actually.

Now, I'm not sure what I might have done to warrant being mentioned on your blog. Perhaps the little hole in the back of my shirt, but that wasn't there this morning and I didn't have another shirt to change into, so I do have a defense.

Thanks for the laughs - they are much appreciated.

Sincerely,
-A (sub)contract employee with no interns in sight

Event: Kellys' Irish Times Intern Happy Hour

2011-06-02T23:16:00.001-04:00

Spotted: This Little Piggy Ran Down the Escalator on the Wrong Side

2011-06-02T23:13:00.000-04:00

Although I have read this blog for years, I've always been quite skeptical of some of the stories posted; perhaps I have too much faith in humanity, or just plain old human decency. A recent run in with some interns changed this.

I was walking down the escalator at Dupont Circle on Tuesday night when I heard quite the commotion further up. As I looked back, I could see two pairs of interns - badges ever the giveaway - racing down the escalators piggy-back style. One of them shouted, "It's walk left stand right, right? F*** that!"

Needless to say, I started walking at a decent clip just to avoid these jokers.

Heard: Dodd-Frank What?

2011-06-02T23:10:00.002-04:00

Quote from a Senate-side intern talking to a constituent on the phone: “I’m sorry sir but no one in this office knows what the Dodd-Frank bill is.”

Spotted: Kissing Ass, Taking Names?

2011-06-02T23:08:00.000-04:00

I'm the internship coordinator a lobbying firm, and one of our interns had the unfortunate mistake of leaving the lowest privacy settings on Facebook, so the President of our company was privy to the following description of her internship which was promptly blasted around the office:

"i run errands whenever possible so i can expend some energy and check out business hotties and figure out this city, i listen to hearings and type inhumanly fast to write down every word people say, and i kiss a lot of ass."

Heard: Un-PC in DC

2011-05-28T18:14:00.003-04:00

We have a new intern and on his first day he has already distinguished himself as the most obnoxious intern ever. And he's looking for a job, so watch out D.C. All of these quotes are from his first day. I'm sure we'll have more (unless we fire him).

Intern: How old do you think [insert name of two asian staffers] are?
Staffer: Not sure, upper 20s maybe 30.
Intern: No effing way, SERIOUSLY?
Staffer: Yes.
[Ten minutes later two staffers come over]
Intern: Ohmygod, I refuse to believe your'e that old, you look so young"
[Awkward pause]
Intern: You people seriously never age, do you?

Staffer: Hey [intern] can you help run mics right now for this event.
Intern: *Sigh*, can i get them next time? I'm reading this really interesting article in FP right now and want to finish it.

Spotted: Intern Happy Hour - Asia Nine

2011-05-28T18:09:00.003-04:00

Intern Happy Hour - Asia Nine - June 8th

Heard: Chief of ... Staff?

2011-05-28T18:07:00.002-04:00

I was in line to get my ID badge and I overheard two interns having a conversation.

Intern Male: "Check out my badge, doesn't it look good?"
Intern Female: "Don't have it so we can see your face when you wear it, you don't want people to know we are interns."

Intern Male: "Good point, maybe they will think I'm a chief of staff or something like that if I turn it around."

I'm glad they are catching on. Last I checked, all chiefs-of-staff were in their early 20s.

Heard: Flagpole Sitta

2011-05-28T18:06:00.001-04:00

From an Intern on the House side of the Capitol: "Totally thought that when they said you can buy a flag that was flown over the capitol they meant in an airplane..."

Heard: Intern Lessons

2011-05-28T18:04:00.000-04:00

Last year, I had the privilege of serving as an intern on the Hill. It was one of the best experiences of my life. This year, I'm returning to DC to intern for a think tank and am really looking forward to reading the blog again. This blog helped me avoid the damaging mistake of wearing my red badge of courage outside of the office and confirmed to me that I was indeed making the right wardrobe choices, however conservative they may have been. I'm very happy to be headed back to DC, and look forward to reading this blog all summer.

Thanks,

A very happy reader

Spotted: Red Badge of Courage No More

2011-04-24T21:24:00.003-04:00

Editors Note: It has come to our attention that as of the 112th Congress, the red badge of courage is no more. We like to think our little blog had something to do with the color change, but what do we know. We have been told that staff badges are now yellow (not green) and interns badges are grey (not red). Makes them a bit more difficult to spot, but as we have learned, it is the behavior, not the color of the badge that is the telltale sign.

One month and counting until Intern Season officially begins again. We hope that newbie interns will take a moment to read these stories and learn what not to do.

Heard: We Always Love Good Stories

2011-04-24T21:22:00.002-04:00

Editors Note: Thank you for the positive feedback. If you have personal stories regarding how this blog shaped your life as an intern, please share them!

---

Hello!

First, I just want to say that I love this blog and have been following it since I was a wee little intern in DC.

Second, as a past DC intern I just want to say that I learned so much from this blog and what to do or not do as an intern. There are a vast majority of interns who actually go to DC to learn from the people who take us in as interns and appreciate everything they do for us and teach us. However, this blog taught me proper social etiquette and I hope that it continues to inform all those other interns who eagerly want to be a GOOD DC intern!

Best wishes,

A happy follower and former intern :)

Spotted: Bullseye!

2011-04-24T21:20:00.001-04:00

Spotted at a Starbucks, proudly displaying her badge of courage.

Dear slightly attractive girl standing in front of me at Starbucks,

I know that you are an intern for some congressperson; I heard you yell it to the cashier as if it was going to impress the rest of us. I know that your are going to graduate in less than a month, and the job market is really tough. But FYI.....there is no tramp stamp that helps a person get a job... just thought ya should know.

You are welcome.

Heard: Wrong Charles in Charge

2011-04-24T21:16:00.002-04:00

Long Time Reader, First Time Poster.

First, I should clarify that I have yet to ascend from the lower-than-lowly rank of intern. With the help you guys have provided with "what not to do," I hope to make that transition soon. So thanks for that.

Spotted: (or, rather, heard?) A poorly-kept secret of Capitol Staff Tours - not necessarily everything you hear on Staff Tours is 100% true. For instance, while I was giving a tour today, in the Old Senate Chamber, I overheard a (presumably) Republican intern describe in vivid detail what he called the "Caning of Senator Charles Schumer."

Now, this story, to my ears, sounded eerily similar to the infamous caning of Senator Charles Sumner...

Heard: The OC in DC?

2010-09-05T10:20:00.002-04:00

Ryan Atwood + Chuck Bass - Marissa Cooper - Jenny Humphrey = The Ideal OC in DC?

Spotted: Rally Red Badge

2010-09-05T10:16:00.001-04:00

I went down to the Glenn Beck rally last Saturday to take a look at the crowd and get some pictures. Spotted near the WWII memorial was a girl in a tank top and khaki shorts, with red intern tag displayed prominently on her hip.

Note to intern- Not only do you have absolutely no reason to wear your badge on a Saturday, you should know that the people at the Beck rally are protesting the federal government and are not impressed or awed in the least bit that you work for the Democrat controlled Congress.

Spotted: Apparently Visa Really Is Everywhere You Want To Be

2010-09-05T10:15:00.000-04:00

I am an intern in a House office, and my tour training was put off for several weeks due to an overflow of interns that could handle tours. When I finally attended tour training, we were sent on a tour of the CVC (Capitol Visitors Center) to learn the layout. We all grouped up in Emancipation Hall and listened while our tour guide began his speech. I was observing my fellow interns and noticed a girl looking very self conscious. At first, I thought it was her appearance, which in and of itself wasn't terribly embarressing (minus her hair, which seemed to be absolutely saturated with hairspray), until I finally noticed what she had noticed. She was in a sea of interns all of whom had already recieved their Red Badges of Courage, while she had not. The panic on her face grew more and more visible as she searched each person for their badge. Eventually, she gave into peer pressure and reached into her purse, pulled out her Visa card, turned it around, placed it in a case (which, tellingly, she already owned) and clipped it to her waist. She looked up, proud of her good idea and continued on her way. As bad as this is, (and as much as I wish a Capitol Police officer had stopped her) the kicker is in the CVC, one does not even need a hill badge to enter or walk around. It's entirely open to the public.

Spotted: Hey Mister Postman...

2010-09-05T10:11:00.001-04:00

I asked our intern if she would send out our constituent/district mail to the district office, even handing off the franked mailing labels and proper envelopes to send it off in. So today, the mail comes around and we get two big envelopes filled with mail - the same ones our intern had sent off a couple of days before. Upon further investigation, I saw that the label on the package only had the street address and the name of the building our district office is in. No city, no state, no zip code!

And to make matters worse, the full address to our district office is taped to the intern computer at the desk she sits at! Come on, are we that wrapped up in technology these days that we've forgotten how to address a letter and mail a package??

Heard: Charmed, I'm Sure

2010-09-05T10:09:00.002-04:00

One of our interns is pretty big on himself. Didn't see fit to hold the door for himself during the fire drill, letting staffers ahead and behind do the honors. Next, he decided to get chummy with the constituents by phone, offering wisecracking retorts in response to their concerns. But, today, dear intern, today, you took the cake.

As I was headed out for lunch, he entered the area where I had been working. He noticed that the handbag I brought with me today (which happens to be large enough to accommodate my shorts for the Senate gym) didn't exactly match my slacks. Okay, good for you if you minored in queer eye for the straight guy during your recent sojourn through college, but did you really have to announce at the top of your lungs: "Your purse and pants clash!"

Maybe you should have invested in a little Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends & Influence People, instead. . . I'm kind of thinking that wasn't among the tips your relative (who got you this job) offered in how to get ahead here.

Heard: Mint Chocolate Chip

2010-09-05T10:07:00.001-04:00

I'm a staffer at a non-profit off the hill. This is my morning interaction with an intern:

Intern walks out of our break room with a chocolate chip cookie in her hand.

Intern: That's weird. This cookie smells like mint. (Holds it up to my nose.) Does it smell like mint to you?

Me: Um, no. However- that pack of spearmint gum in your hand under the cookie might have something to do with the mint smell.

Intern: (Looks around as everyone starts laughing) Crap! They all heard it too!

Yes. Yes we did.

Heard: Pretend Sleep

2010-09-05T10:01:00.001-04:00

[Editor's Note: This story was submitted by a female.]

On my way home from work, I ended up running into my intern on the metro. Soon into the conversation, he voluntarily states, "Usually, I just pretend to fall asleep on the metro, otherwise, my eyes tend to rest on some girl's tits." My absolutely shocked response, "You are my intern! TMI... TMI..." I was lucky my stop was next...

Heard: Do You Know So-and-So?

2010-08-08T19:08:00.000-04:00

I just had the following phone conversation with the intern who answered the phone in a Senate office:

Me: Hi, I'm calling from (trade association I work for) on behalf of (HUGE hospital in that state).
Intern: Oh my God, my aunt works there!!!! Do you know so and so?

Dear, just put the grownups on the phone.

Heard: Social Security People

2010-08-03T17:56:00.001-04:00

I was riding the metro on my way to a Nationals game when three interns boarded and started having a conversation about DC sites and the White House. One intern was commenting about how much fun it would be to climb the fence on Pennsylvania Avenue and explore the White House grounds. One of her friends wisely advised her that this was a bad idea, because “the social security shoots people who try that.” I laughed for the rest of my ride to the stadium.

DC Summer Interns Twitter Account

2010-08-02T20:20:00.002-04:00

We are excited to announce our DC Summer Intern Twitter account. You can reach us @dcsummerinterns. Thank you for being loyal followers! - The Editors

Heard: Weird Skin Condition

2010-08-02T19:34:00.002-04:00

Heard: It's not making friends its networking (in a House Office Building bathroom):

Intern 1: "I have been in DC a whole month and only made one friend! I am such a loser!"
Intern 2: "It's called networking here, that's why."
-awkward pause-
Intern 2: " I have this weird skin condition"
-discussion of creepy skin condition goes on for a few moments-
Intern1 "ughhh i need deodorant"

Perhaps the reason you have only "networked" with 1 person, is due to your public discussions of how insecure you are, how you have possible contagious skin conditions and body odor. I can't possible imagine why people aren't flocking to you.

Heard: Heat Always Rises

2010-08-02T19:33:00.001-04:00

In a Senate Office Building this morning, four interns (three girls, one guy) got on the elevator at the ground floor level after getting some coffee. One of the girls says "Brrrr it's always so cold down here." Unaware that A/C could be the culprit, the guy chose to flex his muscle as a wellspring of knowledge and replied "yeah, well, heat always rises."

When I looked at him like he was an idiot, he amended his statement with "I mean, that could be one explanation for it."

Spotted: Lucite Heels?

2010-08-02T19:26:00.000-04:00

Spotted in a House Office Building:

Sweet young intern... wearing three-inch lucite heels, a see through yellow shirt...and a khaki skirt so tight I could see she was wearing a lace thong.

Who teaches these girls how to dress?

Heard: You Can Do It Unanimously!

2010-08-02T19:19:00.000-04:00

Was on the metro one evening and seated across from two friends, a girl and guy. The former was very loudly telling her friend that she was returning from a fundraising event for the senator for whom she interns. The girl said that as she was collecting donations a young attendee told her he wanted to donate to the (democratic) senator but was afraid his parents would find out because they are conservative republicans. So, as a solution she told him he could donate UNANIMOUSLY (she was yelling) and his parents would never find out! To demonstrate her excitement for coming up with such a solution she repeated unanimously several times. Her friend look very impressed - the rest of the metro passengers, less so.

DC INTERNS LADY GAGA PARODY: On The Metro

2010-07-30T10:41:00.004-04:00

Editors Note: We didn't make this video, but the blog shows up at 3:18! Round of applause to the creators!

Heard: Dress to Impress?

2010-07-28T23:05:00.001-04:00

Overheard in a Senate Office Building elevator: "I wanna get some and my dress needs to scream that!"

Red badge of courage? Check

Spotted: I Promise I'm Not Lazy

2010-07-28T23:01:00.000-04:00

Actual email from an intern:

Hey [Staffer],

A while ago you asked me to do some research on CBO and another topic (what it was escapes me). Yesterday at our meeting with [staffer], I had a heart attack when I learned I probably should have sent you a memo with the information I learned. I’m not sure if you were telling me to do the research for my own benefit or if you actually needed it done but I don’t want you to think I missed a deadline because I really didn’t know how the office worked back then. If you still need to research, I would be more than happy to do it for you and have it in your inbox in a timely manner. Please let me know and I promise im not lazy :/

[Intern]

Heard: See red-badged Interns, you really are the coolest interns in town!

2010-07-28T23:00:00.000-04:00

The other day I was approached by a couple of female (non-hill) interns as I walked by the Capitol. They asked if I would take a picture of them with the capitol in the background. I said sure and took the picture. This is what I overheard as I returned the camera and began walking away:

Girl 1: Oh my gosh, we're totally like those interns with the red badges on dcinterns.blogspot.com right now.

Girl 2: Haha I know! Except that we don't have the red badges!
Girl 1: Seriously! I wish we had red badges, we totally need some!
Girl 2: Yeah, we should totally make our own. Like print fake ones or something!
Girl 1: YES! Like fake IDs, but red badges.
Girl 2: Yeah, that would be sooo cool!

See red-badged Interns, you really are the coolest interns in town!

Heard: Check Yourself

2010-07-28T22:54:00.000-04:00

A coworker and I were getting coffee in the Rayburn Deli when three interns sauntered over. Planned Parenthood was on The Hill that day, and there were volunteer lobbyists wearing pink shirts everywhere...

Intern 1: Oh my god I hate hate hate babykillers. I want to say something to them.
Intern 2: Yeah, oh my god you should.
Intern 1: Is it worth it?
Intern 3: blank stare

Look. I get it. You have come to The Hill because of your deep passion for politics, but we are all here with varying opinions and you should restrain yourself from calling somebody else something inappropriate in front of staffers because you disagree with their politics. I'm not saying keep your opinions to yourself, but you don't want to have confrontations with lobbyists in the cafeteria... that is maybe the surest way to have your story in Politico rather than just this blog and your ass on the street.

Heard: Where's MA-04?

2010-07-28T22:53:00.000-04:00

Our intern planned to attend an intern lecture from Chairman Barney Frank. Being unfamiliar with the Capitol Complex, she asked me where she might find MA-04. I politely informed her that MA-04 represented Chairman Frank's State and Congressional District. She said, "Oh, well, then where is TBD?"

Heard: Cameras in the Supreme Court?

2010-07-28T22:50:00.000-04:00

I am a summer intern in the Senate and have rarely been more disappointed in my peers than yesterday when all Hill interns (that made it in the door) were treated to a speech/Q & A hour with Justice Ginsburg in the Supreme Court court room. This was obviously a big opportunity and one intern in particular felt he was just more important than everyone else waiting to get in. The interns who lined up inside the Supreme Court's waiting room were in four lines; I was lucky enough to be in the last line, along with this certain intern. The lines dismissed one by one and sure enough..this intern tried to cut in front of no less than a dozen people without the least hint of subtlety, literally pushing over and around his peers to try and get in front. Glad to see about five or six other interns did not allow this act of total-jerkiness.

Also, to the intern who asked Justice Ginsburg a question when she asked us about something entirely different: you should probably pay attention to when a Supreme Court justice is talking to you. Justice Ginsburg was waxing poetic about the Constitution and paused to ask the interns a question about the Constitution. What did this other intern do? He felt compelled to ask Justice Ginsburg at that moment if she forsaw whether the Court would allow cameras into the courtroom in the near future. Whoops.

Heard: I'd be Happy to Take it to the Senator for You

2010-07-28T22:46:00.000-04:00

Cool event: Google DC hosted a local celebrity chef for a talk and some treats. They set up a Moderator to vet audience questions in advance. And yet one of the perky young audience members stood up to ask an impromptu question:

"Hi, my name is John, and I work for Senator X. I'm sure you know, Senator X is very concerned with food and agricultural policy with his work on Y committee... so if you have any feedback I'd be happy to take it back to the Senator for you."

Giggles spread throughout the audience. Miss Intern (no red badge but fair guess, no?) earnestly took notes as the chef replied emphatically about the inequities and injustice of corn subsidies. Props to the chef for the good answer to such an inelegantly phrased... um... 'question'.

Heard: They're Not Just on the Hill

2010-07-28T22:45:00.001-04:00

I don't work on the Hill, but thought this intern story might be blog worthy.

Last week, two of our interns in my office went to get a free lunch at some new place that just opened near our office. I ran into them with a co-worker as we were coming back from lunch and they were telling us about it. The two best comments had to be "We're interns, I feel like we should have been able to cut in line for the free lunch instead of waiting forever like everyone else." and "I wish I had an intern badge that I could flash around the city." I had to try really, really hard not to laugh at them to their faces.

Heard: From One Intern to Another

2010-07-28T22:44:00.000-04:00

I'd like to simply thank you for both providing some incredibly useful tips on how to comport myself (e.g. hiding the badge unless I need it), and for putting my first-week-of-work-style mistakes (getting lost, screwing up a phone transfer, etc.) in perspective. And, for what it's worth, my initial reaction upon seeing entrances/food lines/whatever labeled 'staff' was extreme uncertainty and nervousness about whether my intern ID was good enough. Anyway, thanks.

Regards,
Hilltern #2013649

Heard: Tactless 'Terns

2010-07-28T22:43:00.000-04:00

I'm a student at GW and found myself in a conversation with a Hill intern. I asked him how he was enjoying the Hill and he told me the usual story about how cool it was that his job was so important. Then we came to this exchange:

Intern: Yeah, but I'm still waiting for something really cool to happen... like an attempted terrorist attack on the White House.
Me: Uh, I'm sorry?
Intern: Well, I just mean it would be cool to see, like, gun turrets come out of the ground on the front lawn of the White House.
Me: That's... not how things work.
Intern: You never know...

I wasn't really sure how to continue the conversation at this point, I just walked away in disgust.

Heard: I'm Pretty Sure I was Roofied

2010-07-28T22:42:00.001-04:00

"I'm pretty sure I was roofied." ~ My visibly hungover intern explaining to our office why his last day of work consisted of him showing up for 3 minutes at 2:30pm to turn in his red badge of courage. EPIC FAIL.

Spotted: Not Cuts, No Butts, No...

2010-07-28T22:41:00.001-04:00

The lines to get into the HOBs have become atrocious since intern season began, particularly the line into Longworth from New Jersey. Apparently, one red-badged Hilltern thought it was kosher to cut in front of 10 people and merely stand next to someone she recognized to avoid further waiting. Calling her out on her folly, as well as the red badge, could not have come with a sweeter sense of justice.

Spotted: White Knight

2010-07-28T22:37:00.000-04:00

I had the opportunity to actually be on the Hill today as part of a lobby day for a conference and had always heard of the mythical interns with the red badges of courage...and not thought much of it. That was until I got off at Capitol South Metro and was walking past Canon HOB to see an intern with her red badge on wearing skinny jeans, white flip flops, and a white tank top. I get that Congress isn't in session this week, but when tourists are better dressed than you, perhaps you should consider wearing something nicer to work? Thanks.

Heard: The Fifth of July

2010-07-08T21:42:00.002-04:00

I was in Longworth Cafeteria last week when I overheard two valley girls with red badges the table over. There was nothing out of the ordinary until the following exchange:

Intern 1: Is July 5th, like, a federal holiday?
Intern 2: Ummm. I don't think so.
Intern 1: Then, why do we have off?
Intern 2: Maybe it's because, like it was the first full day they really got to celebrate the Declaration of Independence.

I nearly choked on my lunch.

Spotted: A Very Casual Friday

2010-07-08T21:42:00.001-04:00

Dear Intern in the House Cafeteria:

Your impressive, shiny Red Badge of Courage was not enough to distract me from the black thong you wore under your sheer white skirt. I think you have the wrong idea about casual Friday…

Spotted: Oedipus Had the Same Complex...

2010-07-08T21:41:00.002-04:00

I ride a commuter bus home most days. Yesterday there was a Hill intern (yes, sporting the red badge of shame) in the inside seat on the last row of the bus. There is an unwritten protocol that the bus deboards front to back one row at a time. It's oh-so-civilized.

When the bus arrived at its destination, said intern starts climbing over me. I tell him, "we're all getting off here." He continues to the aisle and rushes mid-bus where he promptly runs into his fellow passengers exiting.

Once off the bus, the driver, who I assumed to be his mother ("Proud Navy Mom" license plate frame) swoops him away in a minivan. I'm sure she is proud of her intern too.

Spotted: Is it Obvious, Is it Obvious? Red Solo Cup, Please!

2010-07-08T21:41:00.001-04:00

The Scene: Annual Congressional Baseball Game, concession stand

3 tiny girls in tiny jean shorts, 2 young guys

Girl 1: I love your Nobama shirt!

Guy 1: Thanks!

Guy 2: Yeah, we work for XYZ Republican

Girl 1: No way! We work for ABC Republican Organization!

Girl 2, approaching with a beer: Am I so obvious? Do I look obvious? Do I look old enough to be drinking this?

Girl 1: You totally look old enough.

Girl 2: I think I should ask for a cup that isn't clear, then it won't be so obvious...? I think the clear cup is obvious.

Girl 1, to concession worker: Can she have a red cup?

Girl 2: $4.50 for a HOT DOG?!

Concession worker: We only have clear cups...

Spotted: Intern's Got No Talent (Or Life, Apparently)

2010-07-08T21:40:00.002-04:00

I’m currently in charge of the interns in a congressional office, so it falls on me to make sure that they have an enjoyable experience and aren’t just sitting around doing absolutely nothing. One of the current interns seemed to be focused, didn’t overly ask questions, and always did what we asked him to do… kind of. When then Member of Congress asked this intern to carry out a task over 3 weeks ago, the intern jumped into it. Currently the intern is still working on that same assignment for the Member which we thought was weird… Until we realized one small detail… the intern is obsessed with “America’s Got Talent” and has been watching every episode from this year; that is, until the intern caught up with this season, and then began to watch the previous seasons via Hulu. We threatened to give him a computer with no internet, so that he would finish the assignment, but he promised to get it done. Only 10 minutes later he was back to watching/giggling through another episode, when our other intern called him out for watching it… the obsessed intern got up and shouted “It’s got funny acts… and Nick Cannon!!!!” I don’t know what is worse, that fact that Nick Cannon hosts a show about talent, or the fact that my intern is obsessed with a TV show that has Nick Cannon as a host.

Spotted: Picture Perfect!

2010-07-08T21:40:00.001-04:00

On the Capitol South Metro platform earlier this week, a male hilltern with an ill-fitting suit was spotted taking a picture of his red badge of courage on his blackberry. Because it is just so cool you want to send it to all of your friends back home? I know I was not the only one snickering at him, next time save the photo-op for the privacy of your home.

Heard: Hardworking 'Terns

2010-07-08T21:39:00.000-04:00

Overheard in line to enter Cannon House Office Building:

intern 1: dude, I totally overslept again today

intern 2: not good

intern 1: I think my alarm clock is broken

intern 2: that's great (sarcasm)

intern 1: I think I'm gonna ask her today if I can start coming in at 10. I mean, I work 9 to 5 for free.

intern 2: hahaha. do it.

Heard: Eat Fresh ... Fast

2010-07-08T21:38:00.002-04:00

I'll admit, I'm a Hilltern this Summer. However, I'm a little older than most and I've been reading this blog for some time now, so I'm well aware that my red badge means absolutely nothing. Earlier today, while enjoying a nice Subway sandwich on my lunch break, I overheard the following conversation in response to the long line:

Kid 1: "We should just flash our staff IDs and cut in front of this line"

Kid 2: "Do you think that would work?"

Kid 1: "Yea, we'll just make sure we find some tourists and cut in front of them."

Girl: "John, I doubt anyone will care about your badge."

Kid 1: "They should! I work for Senator X from the state of Y! I shouldn't have to wait like this."

He was completely serious.

Heard: "Georgetown Person" at a Discounted Price

2010-07-08T21:38:00.001-04:00

While out at a bar this weekend, my roommate and I (who are students in Washington, DC) encountered an intern to top all interns...and he didn't even have a red badge. We knew we were in for an interesting time when this guy approaches us in boat shoes and seafoam green shorts, still wearing his backpack. He begins by letting us know he isn't a typical intern because he has one paid and one unpaid and that he lives in Georgetown; but isn't a typical "Georgetown person" because he bargain shops for his Vineyard Vines and JCrew. So he's not a typical "Georgetown person"...but he looks like one, talks like one, and wants to be one, just at a discounted price. He then informs us he will "probably go to Georgetown law," even though he hasn't even applied yet; but he is taking a L-S-A-T course (pronounce as you would the SATs). After a few more minutes of him talking about himself, he told my roommate she wasn't intimidating enough because she didn't go to an Ivy League school nor did she have a career, as if him going to a small school in NY that no one has heard of is intimidating. My roommate's response - "trust me man, my resume is better than yours." Clearly his ego takes a hit, and he is upset. She says "thanks for playing" and clinks his glass, and he walks away. It is not over yet, because we see him go up to his bro and loudly say "this b*** is pissed because my resume is better than hers!" And then to make him feel better, his bro responds with "yeah man, it happens" and they proceed to fist bump.

Just a note DC intern - next time you want to insult someone for not going to an Ivy League school, make sure yours is at least in the top 100.

Heard: Free Train Rides to the Capitol

2010-07-08T21:37:00.000-04:00

After six hours of waiting in the 95 degree heat, I was finally walking into the Elena Kagan Confirmation Hearing. The Senate Judiciary Committee had handed out over 400 tickets, and I was in the first group to enter the hearing. As we approach the roped off area to enter, a group of four kids start walking along side our line and attempt to enter the hearing. Noticing their presence, the judiciary staffer asked for their ticket, the same one the 380 other people were holding outside. One of the four goes -- "Oh, no no no, we're staff." Judiciary Staffer -- "Can I see your badge?" And with the flick of his wrist the kid turns around his sparkling red Congressional intern badge saying, "One of theeeessseeee?" After the staffer refused to let them into the hearing, they responded with, "Are you joking? I work in this building; I'm a Senate intern."

Nothing says DC intern like strolling into the biggest hearing of the year and expecting a red carpet in return for flashing their intern badge. The staffer started laughing and finished with, "you can either go outside and wait behind everyone else or try showing the badge downstairs and get a free train ride to the Capitol."

Spotted: It's The End of the World!

2010-07-01T10:03:00.009-04:00

Picture Credit to Witness #1

Editor's Note: These are 2 separate witness accounts.

#1:
Wednesday's bomb threat on 19th and F left 100 or so college students in suits on lockdown in a GW dorm all morning. The highlight was the sign someone posted by the officer at the front door:

"Guys,

It's a BOMB. Go back to your room, wait, calm down, and put away your red badge. No one cares how much you do for this country.

-Everyone else"

#2:

This morning, there was a bomb scare on F and 19th street. As a result, security officers came Mitchell (a GW dorm on 19th street) to prevent anyone from leaving, presumably to protect us from the bomb. Since nobody really knew what was going on, it was pretty stressful, and scary. The security officer didn't seem to know anything, but we kept hearing that there may have been a real bomb.

In spite of the fear that some interns, myself included, felt for our lives, other interns had other worries. I was astounded at the number of people who thought that their red badges would convince the security guard that they "really had to leave" and had "important work to get done." I couldn't figure out why so many people would elect to sit in the lobby for like four hours to wait when it was hot and crowded and gross, so I actually asked a group why they didn't just wait in their rooms. One girl, of course sporting a red badge, looked at me self-importantly and said, "Because I have to go to work as soon as we're allowed to leave."

Someone finally taped a sign up by the door that said the following:

"Guys. It's a BOMB. Put away your red badges and calm down, nobody cares."

I really don't understand why interns think they are so important. Last I checked, the threat of death is a little more imminent than your office's urgent need for someone to lick their stamps.

Heard: The Nuclear War of ...

2010-07-01T10:02:00.002-04:00

Our new bodyman was looking at the clock in our Senate office (the clock with the lights on it to denoted votes). And he was remarking that in the event of a nuclear war all the lights go off and there are 12 bells (the validity of this seems dubious to me but I digress).

Then one of our interns, and mind you, one of our BEST AND BRIGHTEST interns in fact asked him, “Has it ever happened before?!” Our confused bodyman spun around and answered very truthfully… “No there haven’t been any nuclear wars.”

Spotted: Gorgeous Hair

2010-07-01T10:02:00.001-04:00

I walked into a men's room in a House office building, and standing in the middle of the bathroom is an intern, slowly and very deliberately stroking his hair. He was totally oblivious to the three other people having to walk around him to use the toilets and wash their hands. He just kept staring into the mirror and petting himself. This person will likely win a seat in Congress within 20 years.

Heard: Captain Trade to the Rescue?

2010-07-01T10:01:00.000-04:00

This happened last summer, but at the time I was unfamiliar with this blog. Last summer we were receiving a lot of calls on cap and trade, as I'm sure many offices were. After fielding several calls from slightly angry constituents, one of our interns approached me with a humorous question:

"I have a question. I'm talking to a lot of people who are mad at Captain Trade. Who is that and what did he do?"

Spotted: Her 21st - Part of the Public Record

2010-07-01T09:55:00.001-04:00

I am an intern at one of the Executive Branch Departments that is hosting about fifty interns spread across the various offices. For the summer, the Department decided to provide programming for us interns and help us network with each other by setting up an email list serve. Most of the interns are linked into the list serve via their work emails and so, technically, anything sent to or from the list serve becomes part of the public record. Initially the list serve was used to inform fellow interns about conferences and networking events but within the past two days, two emails that are definitely not appropriate to be sending using government email addresses (both emerged from their AGENCY.gov emails) have appeared on the list.

1) In a "Weekly Intern" email, letting us know about upcoming Brown Bags with Assistant Secretaries and the Staff vs. Interns softball game, the intern in charged of organizing the intern programming decided to announce that it was his 21st birthday. Attached to the email was a long word document detailing the pub crawl he intended to go on later that night (mind you this is a Monday). I need not mention that the majority of interns at our Department are undergraduates and quite a few are under 21. But even so, why on earth would you send this over work email?

But, this was not enough to warrant sending in to DC Intern Blog until I received the following, today:

2) Enjoy a Good Read!

Hey everyone!

You guys should check out my blog sometime! It will either make you informed, pissed or make you laugh! Enjoy when you have a moment!

[LINK REMOVED] -- blog in which she shares her political views on everything from General McChrystal to McDonalds.

You can also follow on facebook, twitter or subscribe to the feed, if you enjoy it !

Take care!

--Stupid Intern

Luckily said email promptly got pushed to my Junk Mail (@ 3:52 p.m., as in during the work day), but since my job involves receiving email responses from many individuals outside my agency I check the junk mail frequently. It should also be noted that blogs, facebook, and twitter are inaccessible from work, and for good reason! You're interning to work, not to send emails to the other interns plugging your blog! I am really tempted to figure out what office she is working in and forward said email to her supervisor. Luckily she's smart enough not to talk about her internship on that blog...yet.

Note to interns everywhere: work email is for work, not for advertising your debauchery or plugging your blogs.

Heard: Fire Alarm Every Morning at 10:00 AM

2010-07-01T09:54:00.001-04:00

I am a current hilltern who is constantly shocked by the bold ignorance displayed by so many of my (dare I say) colleagues, and today was no different. While attending a hearing this morning bells rang for attendance in the house. I thought little of it since I had read the schedule for today and knew that votes were scheduled for that time. The interns behind me, however; were shocked and I had to work hard to hide my smile as I heard the following conversation:

Intern 1: "What the hell is that noise?"

Intern 2: "Maybe its the fire alarm?"

Intern 1: "Oh look the clock lit up!"

Intern 2: "Oh yeah I've heard about that, I think the red light means the hearing will get over then."

Intern 1: "I've heard that too, I didn't know they were so strict about it."

To those poor interns I can only imagine your baffled expressions every time the House is called to vote. It must be puzzling to stare at the clock wondering why it lights up daily.

Spotted: Soccer Mania

2010-07-01T09:53:00.000-04:00

One of our stellar crop of interns is keeping a group of tour-bound constituents waiting to watch the end of the soccer game. At least this will be only the third time in two weeks one of our jewels makes your blog. What is wrong with these people? Could this experience mean any less to them? Sigh.

Spotted: Interns Should Check out Hawk 'n Dove

2010-06-23T18:20:00.003-04:00

The Hawk 'n' Dove is the oldest restaurant on the Hill as well as home to great deals for interns. Monday through Friday they offer half priced burgers and chicken sandwiches at lunch if you have your intern ID. Happy Hour Monday-Friday is from 4-7pm and has $2.50 rail drinks and bottled beer, plus $2 pints on Thursday and Friday. The upstairs dance floor with a DJ is open Thursday-Saturday nights and also has great drink deals.

Spotted: Love - Zero?

2010-06-23T18:20:00.001-04:00

New intern in my office of a federal government agency, on the same floor as most of the political appointees and the Secretary. She seems nice, but the first thing I noticed this morning is the short pink tennis skirt this morning and strappy stiletto heels (with appropriate black blazer). Honey, it looks good on ya, but it's really not appropriate office wear.

Heard: Camels and Karaoke

2010-06-23T18:18:00.003-04:00

Friday night I'm at a shitty karaoke bar in Adams Morgan and have just done my standby, including hyping "Yo! We got any summer interns in the house? [pause for cheers from half the crowd] Go home soon" between the second and third verses. I go to refill my drink and on the stairs pass a girl, about 20, wearing a somewhat substantial white shirt/sweater thing that went down to her waist, and.. sky blue leggings. Just leggings. Bright attention-grabbing leggings. (There are multiple reports of visible camel toe.) Wha... Okay, I'm feeling brash. "Excuse me," I exhort, "but honest question: do you consider yourself to be wearing pants right now?"

She wasn't even taken aback. "Why, yes I am," defiantly, as if Sarah Palin was being asked if she was proud of the troops. Question answered. Twenty minutes later she threw up all over the bar. (Like, on the bar itself.) And desperately tried to clean it up herself, up to the point of shouting at the bartender "no, go away, I'll take care of it" when he came over with napkins and a rag.

Heard: DC is a Colony

2010-06-23T18:18:00.001-04:00

I work in a law/consulting firm that has [too] many summer interns both paid and unpaid. Some are law students and others here as undergrads and for the most part they are competent and efficient (not the red badge of honor type). This morning I was working on plotting some locations with some of the new interns and showing them how to determine which cities on the map to mark and for what. We were looking at the East coast when Intern #1, a 1L at a top-ten law school, asks "Which states was DC was made up of"? Quick on her feet Intern #2, a 2L law school student from a different top-ten law school responds "Its not made up of any, DC was one of the original 13 colonies."

I could not hold my laughter back as I corrected her that indeed the District of Columbia was originally made up of land ceded by Maryland and Virginia but since then Virginia's area has retro-ceded back into the Commonwealth. Both interns were baffled by the idea of this and the thought of land "flip flopping between states like that." It was not until I showed the soon to be Esquires the Washington D.C. Wikipedia page that they fully believed me.

Intern #1 then asked "What's a Commonwealth?" I told her to Google it and walked out of the room.

Spotted: I'm Just an Intern ... but I want you Nonetheless - w4m (NW)

2010-06-23T18:17:00.000-04:00

From Craigslist: You are 8 years my senior but I could care less. You work down the hall and really the best part of the morning is seeing you in the board meetings and trying to catch your glance. I can never tell by your glances if you can understand my eyes. Sometimes I feel like you intentionally ignore me...hopefully the case, as it would signify shyness. We have had short buoyant conversations before that indicate that we are two friendly folk that would at least superficially get along. I will be here all summer and I just hope you read this, or some other staffer at an organization with interns, and rethink those glances that cute goofy but somewhat awkward intern so earnestly practices each morning before her presentation. And at the least.... at the very least, please reciprocate.

Spotted: A Midriff?

2010-06-23T18:15:00.001-04:00

Spotted were two Congressional interns dressed for success at a morning event near the Hill. One young (relatively tall) woman looked quite professional wearing dress pants and proudly displaying her red badge of courage on her jacket. But upon taking off her jacket to sit, she also had the courage to bare her midriff. I don't know if it was the hot and humid weather, or that they don't make women's shirts long enough, but miss, that's not appropriate work attire.

The second intern showed up halfway through the panel discussion. During the break, the second intern told the person next to me that she was sent from Senator X's office to take notes, but really looked like she just got out of the shower, and wanted to borrow notes for the Senator. Next time remember to arrive on time and to wear a bra.

Heard: End of the World as We Know it

2010-06-23T18:14:00.004-04:00

One of my firm’s summer interns, sounding genuinely concerned, asked the following question during a discussion on NASA’s budget:

“Isn’t NASA predicting that the world is going to end in, like, two years?”

Heard: GOOOAAAALLLLLL

2010-06-23T18:14:00.003-04:00

I work in a newsroom, and we all have televisions next to our desks to watch hearings on C-SPAN or breaking news on one of the 24-hour news channels. One new intern in the office, however, decided that the TV in her cubicle was for entertainment purposes.

When one of the World Cup soccer games came on, she turned on the TV and told everyone not to talk to her for two hours. She loudly reacted whenever the team she was rooting for scored a goal or made a bad play, and even screamed expletives in Spanish at the TV. I understand that the World Cup is a once-every-four-years event, and I understand getting excited for a sporting event, but if you are going to be unproductive for two hours, don't disturb the rest of the office with your outbursts.

Heard: When is Cinco de Mayo?

2010-06-23T18:14:00.001-04:00

This was from a metro ride home on May 5, 2010. Sorry it’s a little late, but better late than never.

I work for a trade association and on my metro ride home, I was blessed to be seated next to DC's most brilliant Senate interns. As their thoughtful conversation progressed I learned they were finishing their time as interns and actually got to meet their respective bosses that week. They then discussed plans for their blow out weekend. Intern A then stopped the conversation with the interjection, "Dude I totally forgot today was Cinco de Mayo." Intern B responded, "Wait, really?" Intern A said, "Yeah, someone reminded me at the end of work and to think I would have missed out on some tequila." Intern B said, "They should really advertise it more, I mean how am I supposed to know that Cinco de Mayo is on May 5th."

Better part of this story was the next day telling my brilliant officemate who is a meeting planner and puts together events for 500+ people and her response. Which was - yeah I never know when Cinco de Mayo is until I get an invitation for a party my friend throws every year on May 5th. It’s confusing.

Spotted: Stop, Drop, and Red Badge-It

2010-06-17T13:55:00.000-04:00

I am an intern living in GW summer housing. I'm a little older than the average hill intern, and have had a few D.C. internships in the past, so I am familiar with the hilarity of the blog and the pompous hill interns (and staffers alike). Tonight a pipe burst in the basement of my building and the fire alarm went off. All of us living in the dorm had to evacuate at midnight, and everyone, thinking it was a fire, grabbed their room keys and maybe a cell phone before leaving-- except one male intern. What do you think he was sure to bring? Of course, the red badge of courage, securely fastened to his gym shorts. Good thing of ALL your valuables in your apartment that you made sure to grab your precious piece of plastic that defines you as a prick. Wonder if you'll use the hour we were outside in the humidity as an excuse for being late tomorrow, or testy to constituents.

Spotted: Eastern Market Faux Pas

2010-06-17T13:54:00.000-04:00

As a former Hilltern, and a current intern for a non-profit organization, I would first like to say that I enjoyed reading this blog last summer, and I am enjoying it once again. I had to laugh this weekend when I was wandering around Eastern Market on Saturday afternoon when I spotted two interns sporting their red badges. It's the weekend, ladies; there is no need for you to be wearing your badges anytime other than Monday through Friday while you're in your office.

Heard: A PSA to the Ladies

2010-06-17T13:53:00.001-04:00

I am a midlevel attorney sending this public service announcement in for the female interns, in the hopes that they'll take it as kind advice, not judgment (although failure to follow it will almost certainly result in their being judged by people in a position to hire them).

I went to a policy conference last week. As at most conferences, there were a few interns and students present. All of the male interns/students managed to dress like adults – slacks, button-front, maybe a tie and jacket. Similarly, all of the male professionals were in suits and the women professionals were in suits or cardigans/skirts, with the exception of a few Africans, men and women, who chose to wear their national dress. What were nearly all of the women interns/students wearing? Sundresses, gladiator sandals, chunky wedge sandals, tank tops, all kinds of beach and club wear with nary a jacket or cardigan in sight. Visible bra straps abounded. One young woman wore a leopard-print tank top, multiple earrings and four-inch heels (her male cohort wore a gray suit). A graduate student seated in the row in front of me was dressed reasonably, but she took her shoes off (!!!) and left them off for about an hour (and then proceeded to ask me about job opportunities at my organization).

Ladies, PSA: Do not dress like this at professional events, even if it’s somehow OK in your office or at your university. A sundress is not professional attire, even on Friday. Jersey is not an appropriate fabric for a business dress, even in June. And for the love of God, wear a slip if you must wear jersey or other unlined skirts, because they cling in places no one wants to see. No one should ever, ever see your bra straps, your cleavage or your thighs at a professional event. You need to brush your hair in the morning and your hairstyle should be something more elegant than how you wear it at the gym. Any shoe that can be construed as trendy is not a professional shoe, and if you must wear sandals, make sure they are conservative. And no one wants to see your blisters, calluses or your bare feet, ever, period.

Yes, it's hot out, and yes, it's unfair that it's easy for men to figure out what to wear and hard for us women, and yes, I know that women's dress shoes are uncomfortable. I understand you want people to judge you for your ideas and not your clothes. But your clothes indicate a lack of decorum and professionalism, and until you've paid your dues, once someone sees your clothes they're not going to care about your ideas. Your sundress tells me as much about your judgment as it does about the color of your bra. Since you're presumably attending these events to make connections and maybe even get a job, do yourself a favor and dress like an adult.

Heard: Solution to the Oil Spill

2010-06-17T13:52:00.000-04:00

I am an intern at an Executive branch department, one of the many departments with segments involved in trying to solve the BP oil spill. Today, our department-wide summer intern email list was set up, so that all approximately 150-200 of us could email each other about events, etc. Well, within a few hours, we all received an email from a fellow intern talking about how horrible the situation is with the oil spill in the Gulf, and how, as the future leaders of our country, we needed to put our heads together to come up with a solution. The intern then proceeded to suggest that we all email the department's Gulf crisis suggestion email account with any suggestions we have, and offered to discuss ideas with anyone who wanted to. I'm pretty sure that if scientists across the government, BP, and others haven't been able to solve this problem yet, interns are not going to magically come up with the solution, even if we "put our heads together." (except for maybe plugging the spill with interns like this one...)

Heard: It Kinda Sucks ... Having to do my Job

2010-06-17T13:43:00.000-04:00

Last week as I was walking to Union Station away from the Hill, a tourist stopped one of the Hill interns sporting his red badge of courage. He looked extremely annoyed. My guess was that he was on his way to happy hour with the five short-skirt, casual Friday girls with him. This woman was asking about what he did, and what to do, and the girls were giggling away as he struggled to keep it together. When she asked how he liked it he politely remarked, "It kinda sucks having to walk people over to the Capitol for ten minutes when I could be doing something else." The poor woman took the hint, a little embarrassed from the pointed peanut gallery.

Spotted: I'm Just Keeping it Real

2010-06-11T19:33:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the length, but I had to submit this one in its entirety. Below is an email we received, verbatim (names removed), from our star summer intern this morning explaining his absence. To give a little background -- we are a small nonprofit organization and we recruit our interns from established programs that, we thought, provided basic training on office culture/professionalism.

Before printing and framing this email, I thought I'd share it with the world. Note to interns everywhere: while it's good to communicate with your supervisors, the example below perfectly demonstrates over-familiarity and over-sharing. Keep it short,professional, and to the point. I'm honestly at a loss as to how to respond to his message lol. There are at least 4 or 5 quotes here that will go down in our organization's intern history.

-------

Hello, good morning!

The good news is: I wanted to email you to inform you of my absence today. I feel really bad/sad about sending this email. I really, really enjoyed my first day at , even if it was a lot of reading, because I like the layout and direction of this internship program, working with our interns, and having a chill boss like you (I'm just keeping it real). So not being able to make it to work today, well, it had to be something serious.

I really pulled a stupid move and somehow locked myself out of my apartment (please don't laugh at me haha). Not only did my phone run out of battery (so I couldn't call security or my roommates to get inside), I had to sleep in a women's size small American apparel jacket. The lack of good sleep, the cold, and wandering around at night to find shelter did wonders for my health, and now I'm feeling especially terrible. I know I informed you earlier on Tuesday that I had gotten sick, but it was manageable throughout the week. Right now, I can't stop coughing, my eyes are swollen, and my body feels immobile and feverish. The only reason I'm sending this email to you at 8:50AM and not sooner is because this was the quickest I could gain access to my internet and my apartment.

So in brief, I genuinely apologize for missing out on a great opportunity to continue to build upon my internship experience during the first week because I enjoy everything about but I believe that today would be best spent recovering and getting rest. I am ailing so please send me your best wishes - I do hope to get fully well by the end of the weekend...

But, there's always good news, and I wanted to inform you that in a week or two, there's a great chance I'll be able to work full time (M-F) at . I'll definitely keep you posted on that, and I look forward to seeing you on Monday.

Sorry again for the weird start to the internship, but I promise I will be reliable and dependable especially because I know I haven't been able to showcase that very much so far. Best wishes to you today!

All the best,

--
Just, wow.

Spotted: mi cab es su cab

2010-06-11T14:56:00.001-04:00

I live in Eastern Market and intern at a Department very near the Hill. This morning it was raining and I woke up late. I decided to call for a cab. I waited for a fair amount of time for the cab and eventually had to call my supervisor to let her know I was likely going to be 5-10 minutes late, just to cover myself. The cab ended up getting there just in time for me to arrive at my meeting on time.

The cab started on its way and was stopped at a stoplight. I'm checking my email and reading the news, when a loud knock scares me. The cabbie and I look up to see a young female intern knocking on the door to the cab in the rain. The driver tells her he's occupied, but then...drumroll please, the intern flashed her red badge of courage, pulled the "I work for such and such Senator line", and then proceeded to reach through the window, unlock the door, and hop in. She kept on saying over and over again how grateful her Senator would be to us for getting her there on time and without wet hair. Though shocked at her behavior, I made polite small talk with her. After finding out she was from Connecticut, I mentioned to her that I was from Missouri. She so wisely informed me that "there was nothing important between the coasts," and that I should never go back home. As if it couldn't get any worse, she got out of the cab without paying, stating that all she had was a debit card. I had specifically called a company that took cards because that was all I had too. The driver mentioned this to her, but she just slammed the door and skipped merrily away. The driver offered a discount to me, but the Midwesterner in me wouldn't allow it. I hope she made it safe and dry to her Senator's office, and gains some Midwestern values and common sense along the way.

Spotted: Underage and Weepy at the 9:30 Club

2010-06-11T14:55:00.000-04:00

I showed up to a sold out show sans ticket hoping to score an extra from someone out front. I was having awful luck and every other person on the street looking for extra tickets found them except for me....and I wasn't interested in paying $60. The band was already on their first or second song and I was about to give up and walk away when all of a sudden two interns were escorted out by the bouncer. (Granted, I did not see exactly why they got tossed, this was just the aftermath and it had something to do with being underage and alcohol.)

Intern Girl 1 to Bouncer (slurring and getting loud): But you cant throw us out, we didn't even do anything!!!

Bouncer to Intern 1: Look, we saw you drinking so you've got to leave.

Intern 1 (getting more surly): Look, we work in Senator/Congressman _______'s office and this is just so messed up! How can you do this to us? (She literally name dropped her boss to the bouncer)

Bouncer to intern 1: Okay, you've got two choices, you can walk away and go enjoy the rest of your night somewhere else or you can explain your story to the police. Take your pick.

Bouncer to intern Girl 2: Whats your name? Let me see some ID

Intern 2 (voice getting shaky): says her name

Intern 2 (on the verge of tears): Am I going to lose my internship!?

The bouncer and I about lost it after this little performance. They took off and the bouncer let me buy their ticket from the box office for $25!

Thank you underage interns for making my night, it was a great show.

To intern girl 1: Did you really think anyone at 9:30 that night gave a rip who you work for, let alone the burly doorman?

To Intern girl 2: You will lose your internship, but not for this...just give this town another month.

Spotted: Dressed for Success

2010-06-11T14:54:00.000-04:00

I am an intern working on the Hill this summer and have been widely entertained by this blog, to the point that I have begun looking for other interns that should be included within. As such, when I headed down the elevator from my office yesterday, I was in for a surprise. The elevator was full, including 4 or 5 other interns who were dressed very professionally. When the elevator stopped on the second floor, two more interns, red badges clearly visible, wanted to get in the elevator but there was not enough room, prompting the male intern there to look at everyone and say "Oh, well that ain't gonna work," then fist-bumping an intern in the elevator as the doors closed. Everyone in the elevator then chuckled, as the intern was proudly supporting his blue seersucker suit, but was wearing old, beat-up, untied white Converse All-Star low tops. I wasn't sure who he worked for, but I'm pretty sure if he worked in my office, they would not have let him in with that particular footwear choice.

Spotted: Deer in Headlights

2010-06-11T14:53:00.002-04:00

Dear Interns, when you show up for a meeting at another organization, it's usually good form to know 1) who you're meeting with, 2) what the meeting is about, and 3) the name of the organization hosting the meeting. Showing up with a deer-in-the-headlights look and no information is only going to make me post to this blog the minute after I show you the conference room.

Spotted: Interns Sport Green Badges, Too

2010-06-11T14:53:00.001-04:00

Several readers have informed the blog that some Interns now have green badges.

Heard: National [Shopping?] Mall

2010-06-09T14:03:00.003-04:00

I love your blog, and it makes me quite sad that I don't work on the Hill. However, I work for an Administrative Department in DC. On our intern's first day, he let us know that he was from Maryland and knew D.C. from visiting and even pointed out that he knew landmarks like the 9:30 Club. On his first day, we took him out to lunch at the National Harbor. As we approached, he asked if it was the National Mall, and I replied that no, it was the National Harbor. He pointed out that he knew that the Gaylord Hotel was part of National Harbor, but that the rest of the shopping area was referred to as the National Mall... Sadly, we had to inform him that the National Mall was not an actual shopping complex. He has since been silent about his knowledge of the area.

Spotted: Gordon Gekko?

2010-06-09T14:02:00.000-04:00

Spotted walking into the Hart Senate Office Building was a cute young woman sporting a spin on the classic Wall Street banker look: charcoal gray pencil skirt, charcoal gray suiting vest in lieu of blazer, and a white dress shirt buttoned low enough to show off her black lacy bra underneath. Naturally, she was sporting her red badge of courage on her hip. Someone should tell her this is an office, not a Maxim Magazine photo shoot.

Heard: What, Exactly, Goes into a Taco?

2010-06-09T14:01:00.000-04:00

Scene: Two staffers enjoying a relaxed lunch at the bar at a local dining establishment on the House side during Recess. Intern, red badge of courage prominently displayed, approaches bar and sits down. Staffers quiet down to listen in and see if he says anything stupid...

Intern: "I would like one taco with chicken and one taco with beef to go please."

Bartender: "Okay. Anything else?"

Intern: "Yes, Do you have chips to go?"

Bartender: "Yes, we can give you chips and salsa to go."

Intern (while conducting serious business on his blackberry): "Okay does that come with Salsa?

Bartender (scowling): "Yes."

Intern: "Okay, what do you put in your tacos?"

Bar Man (A little annoyed at this point): "It is a taco buddy. Lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and whatever meat you order. Anything else?"

Intern: (still conducting BBerry business) "Nope, thanks."

Something tells me it isn't just staffers that get pissed about the summer intern crowd.

Heard: What was that about Glass Houses?

2010-06-09T14:00:00.000-04:00

To the Senate Hilltern riding the Red Line to Tenleytown tonight: I, too, am an intern. And while you might be struggling to adjust to your 9 - 6 hours, aka, a normal workday, I am struggling to adjust to my 12-hour days. At the end of another long day, the last thing I want to do on my Metro ride home is listen to you (tipsily? After all, you apparently get off at 6 but don't head home until 8) chat up first your fellow Hilltern and then, as soon as she gets off at Dupont, turn to the girl sitting next to you who was sweet enough to listen you blather on about how easy your job is, nothing but free food and booze.

Among many other charming anecdotes I learned about you and your life, as I did when I gave up trying to read over the sound of your loud voice, was that you are an avid reader of this very blog! You mentioned that "Like, half the posts are older men complaining about how the girls dress." Your office must not have hired you for your observation skills, since the other half of the posts here are about self-important Hillterns who blather loudly on the Metro. Hope you manage to catch this post, since I told you to be on the look-out for it!

Spotted: Strasburg isn't the Hottest Thing at the Nationals Game

2010-06-08T22:42:00.002-04:00

Nationals game. Strasburg debut. Scoreboard walk in the outfield. Young fan acting obnoxious on his way to get a snack. Red gym shorts? Not my style, but ok. Brand new Strasburg jersey. Check. Red lanyard around his neck. Figured the way he was pushing his way through, he must work for the team. Nope. Hanging from that lanyard: a red badge of courage. Fifteen years in DC and they still crack me up.

Heard: Sleep for Free

2010-06-08T15:15:00.000-04:00

A post from last week about an intern who fell asleep for a half hour reminded me of my own unpaid misadventures. I was an intern at Treasury, and the office I shared with a fellow intern also had the department's refrigerator in it - meaning higher ups would come in and out as they pleased, almost never speaking or making eye contact with us. One day, I fell asleep. A few minutes later in walks, to my horror, our Assistant Secretary, to whom I had been instructed to neither speak nor introduce myself. With a startle, I woke up, and he said "Hey, we're not paying you to sleep." After an uncomfortable silence (during which my life flashed before my eyes), he said "well actually, we're not paying you at all." He then chuckled to himself and left. I wanted to die.

Heard: Important Press Shop Job

2010-06-08T15:14:00.002-04:00

This past week (recess) one of our interns was given the task of updating our press release list. All she had to do was call news organizations and verify email addresses. She started by kicking one of the other interns off his computers, saying "I have a really important project; I need your laptop." She sets up a massive workstation for herself, which includes stringing the phone cord across the room, successfully creating an obstacle course for the other interns. She then proceeds to place calls identifying herself as "This is Jane from Senator X's press shop."

Dear Intern: You are not part of the press team. You are barely part of our office. You are NOT more important that ANY other intern.

*Also, please stop wearing flip-flops to bring constituents over to the Capitol. It's unprofessional.

Heard: Intern TFLN?

2010-06-08T15:14:00.001-04:00

http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-17528.html

Spotted: Roll Call Intern Guide

2010-06-08T15:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Roll Call ran an Intern Guide including stories about eating/drinking on the cheap, how to dress and where to find free and inexpensive fun around town. The site is free and open to everyone right now. Check it out: http://www.rollcall.com/ath/

Spotted: Who Wears [Short] Shorts

2010-06-06T13:31:00.000-04:00

In the Senate Cafeteria this afternoon a young brunette intern was spotted wearing black wedges and tan "formal shorts", that hit mid thigh. I know it's recess, and it's hot out but unless you're a tourist, honey, no.

Heard: It's not like we are in New York

2010-06-06T13:30:00.002-04:00

Intern #1: Hey, you know New York Sports Club? It's in DC too but they call it Washington Sports Club.

Intern #2: Do you know where it is?

Intern #1: Somewhere on K Street.

Intern #2: You know, like, K Street is a long street.

Intern #1: It's not like we're in New York. I'm sure it won't be hard to find.