Thursday, June 09, 2016

Spotted: A Fond Farewell ... Complete With A Masseuse #tbt

We received this goodbye email from a summer intern.  It was addressed to the entire staff. He spelled one of his direct supervisor's name incorrectly and the masseuse just showed up.  Bold move.

From: [name redacted]
Date: Wednesday
Subject: My Goodbye

Dear fellow interns, my many bosses, and [name redacted]

It seems that Friday will be my last day, so I'd like to thank you all for the experience I had this summer working for [name redacted]. I truly had a great time these past few months.

Whether it was photocopying congressional testimonies, stapling of said copies, or retrieving Starbucks for [name redacted], my experiences this summer have cultivated my skill-sets and better suited me for the world beyond. I only jest; I gained invaluable insight into the private-public sector dynamic of politics while also experiencing the Hill. It has undoubtedly been the perfect DC cocktail, and one I would not have done any differently.

I'd like to thank all the partners at the firm for your dependebly open doors and willingness to share your personal perspective on the world of lobbying, your personal stories were each unique yet all similarly educational.

To the intern coordinators – [name redacted],  [name redacted],  and [incorrect name redacted] – I'd like to commend you on your uncanny ability to put up with my many theatrics. I'll have to tell my mother she has been wrong for always saying I'd never have any women in my life without growing up.

I can also say I made many good friends over this summer – no one in the copy room, I mean just in general outside of work. My fellow interns, you were all truly forgetabble.

And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank [name redacted] for being the rock of [name redacted].  Athough it may have taken me all summer, I have finally realized that she alone is the brains keeping this office together.

Yet I do not believe a mere email will suffice in exemplifying the gratitude I have for you all. As such, I have decided to bestow a gift upon the entire office.

In accordance of Friday being both my last day and my birthday, I'd like to inform you all that I have reserved an in-house masseuse to come into the office for 4 hours to give each of you a well deserved massage break.  [Name redacted] has graciosuly offered his office as the designated place of serenity, so the masseuse will be setting up her massage chair there. Whether it is your chronic lower back aches or nascent tight neck, let your bodily worries be remedied by [name redacted]. She will be arriving at 9:30 and staying until 1:30. I've decided it will be best to see how many people are at the office before we determine the order and duration of the massages.

I hope none of you were planning to skip Friday. Thank you all again for everything.

[name redacted]

Note from the Editors:  We didn't edit the e-mail except for identifying info (the spelling mistakes are the intern's).  Also, the submission included a photo of the masseuse.  Bold, although pretty thoughtful.  We wish our interns would provide masseuses.