Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Spotted: Slurping, Knuckle-Cracking, White Out-Slinging Interns

I work at a fairly old school non-profit, where most of the men still wear ties to work, and we do not set any cups down without coasters. I have two interns in my suite of offices this year, and they are driving me bonkers. So based on my interactions with them, I have tips for interns on how not to make staff dislike you:

1) Do not slurp from a straw. Please.  Seriously. 
2) Do not crack every single knuckle (or, any knuckles) during meetings.
3) Do not spill coffee on an office laptop during first week of work.  Also, do not spend 10 minutes talking about how hard it is to work our coffeepot. There are directions printed in the kitchen. Try to seem intelligent.
4) Do not whisper with another intern during work hours. I can't explain how insane this makes me. Either go outside and talk in normal voices or do the work that I know you have to do.
5) If I give you menial tasks like labeling envelopes, do it well, and I may give you something more exciting to do. If you stick every single label on crooked and get whiteout on the envelopes (still don't understand how that happened), I will not only take away that job, but never give you anything to do beyond filing.

I'm in horror of the fact that I may have behaved like these interns when I was still in college. Don't do it!