I was on the Red Line one evening during rush hour and decided that the train sitting at the platform was way too overcrowded for me to even attempt to get on. (Seriously, I don't need to be able to feel the people next to me breathing.) So I decided to wait until a less crowded train came through. The crowded train was holding at the platform for a few minutes for scheduling adjustments and most everyone in the station seemed to have the same idea I did... all except a very frazzled, overly excited intern who proceeded to sprint down the escalator, shrieking at the top of her lungs the entire way "STOP!!!!! DON'T CLOSE THE DOORS! WAIT FOR ME! DON'T CLOSE THE DOORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She continued her sprinting and shrieking until she smashed into a crowded car of people, clearly pleased that she had made it.
The train then continued to sit there for at least another minute and a half, with the doors wide open.
So interns, please note: Metro train doors don't work that way. This isn't an elevator. Running and shrieking do not help if the doors are already closing, it only makes you look ridiculous.
This blog is dedicated to those DC residents who eagerly await (or completely dread) Intern Season. Essential to the function of offices in DC, interns are willing to complete tasks that are often considered undesirable. For many interns, this blog will not apply. For those interns to whom it does apply, we hope that you use these anecdotes to change your behavior and, eventually, change the stigma attached to DC interns.
*PLEASE NOTE: As with the viral nature of the Internet, many offices are concerned about anonymity and poor reflections upon them - please be assured that no office or individual will ever be singled out. This blog operates under complete anonymity and will never be of a libelous nature; it will never post any identifying information including, but not limited to: place of work or residence, name, or congressional office. We welcome you to submit any absurd intern stories you are bound to acquire. TWITTER EXCEPTION: we assume you give us permission to re-tweet any submissions you send our way via your public Twitter account.
To the interns: please use this blog as a learning tool. Godspeed and best of luck this summer. email@example.com