Sunday, September 05, 2010

Heard: The OC in DC?

Ryan Atwood + Chuck Bass - Marissa Cooper - Jenny Humphrey = The Ideal OC in DC?

Spotted: Rally Red Badge

I went down to the Glenn Beck rally last Saturday to take a look at the crowd and get some pictures. Spotted near the WWII memorial was a girl in a tank top and khaki shorts, with red intern tag displayed prominently on her hip.

Note to intern- Not only do you have absolutely no reason to wear your badge on a Saturday, you should know that the people at the Beck rally are protesting the federal government and are not impressed or awed in the least bit that you work for the Democrat controlled Congress.

Spotted: Apparently Visa Really Is Everywhere You Want To Be

I am an intern in a House office, and my tour training was put off for several weeks due to an overflow of interns that could handle tours. When I finally attended tour training, we were sent on a tour of the CVC (Capitol Visitors Center) to learn the layout. We all grouped up in Emancipation Hall and listened while our tour guide began his speech. I was observing my fellow interns and noticed a girl looking very self conscious. At first, I thought it was her appearance, which in and of itself wasn't terribly embarressing (minus her hair, which seemed to be absolutely saturated with hairspray), until I finally noticed what she had noticed. She was in a sea of interns all of whom had already recieved their Red Badges of Courage, while she had not. The panic on her face grew more and more visible as she searched each person for their badge. Eventually, she gave into peer pressure and reached into her purse, pulled out her Visa card, turned it around, placed it in a case (which, tellingly, she already owned) and clipped it to her waist. She looked up, proud of her good idea and continued on her way. As bad as this is, (and as much as I wish a Capitol Police officer had stopped her) the kicker is in the CVC, one does not even need a hill badge to enter or walk around. It's entirely open to the public.

Spotted: Hey Mister Postman...

I asked our intern if she would send out our constituent/district mail to the district office, even handing off the franked mailing labels and proper envelopes to send it off in. So today, the mail comes around and we get two big envelopes filled with mail - the same ones our intern had sent off a couple of days before. Upon further investigation, I saw that the label on the package only had the street address and the name of the building our district office is in. No city, no state, no zip code!

And to make matters worse, the full address to our district office is taped to the intern computer at the desk she sits at! Come on, are we that wrapped up in technology these days that we've forgotten how to address a letter and mail a package??

Heard: Charmed, I'm Sure

One of our interns is pretty big on himself. Didn't see fit to hold the door for himself during the fire drill, letting staffers ahead and behind do the honors. Next, he decided to get chummy with the constituents by phone, offering wisecracking retorts in response to their concerns. But, today, dear intern, today, you took the cake.

As I was headed out for lunch, he entered the area where I had been working. He noticed that the handbag I brought with me today (which happens to be large enough to accommodate my shorts for the Senate gym) didn't exactly match my slacks. Okay, good for you if you minored in queer eye for the straight guy during your recent sojourn through college, but did you really have to announce at the top of your lungs: "Your purse and pants clash!"

Maybe you should have invested in a little Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends & Influence People, instead. . . I'm kind of thinking that wasn't among the tips your relative (who got you this job) offered in how to get ahead here.

Heard: Mint Chocolate Chip

I'm a staffer at a non-profit off the hill. This is my morning interaction with an intern:
Intern walks out of our break room with a chocolate chip cookie in her hand.
Intern: That's weird. This cookie smells like mint. (Holds it up to my nose.) Does it smell like mint to you?
Me: Um, no. However- that pack of spearmint gum in your hand under the cookie might have something to do with the mint smell.
Intern: (Looks around as everyone starts laughing) Crap! They all heard it too!
Yes. Yes we did.

Heard: Pretend Sleep

[Editor's Note: This story was submitted by a female.]

On my way home from work, I ended up running into my intern on the metro. Soon into the conversation, he voluntarily states, "Usually, I just pretend to fall asleep on the metro, otherwise, my eyes tend to rest on some girl's tits." My absolutely shocked response, "You are my intern! TMI... TMI..." I was lucky my stop was next...