Thursday, July 01, 2010

Spotted: It's The End of the World!

Picture Credit to Witness #1

Editor's Note: These are 2 separate witness accounts.

Wednesday's bomb threat on 19th and F left 100 or so college students in suits on lockdown in a GW dorm all morning. The highlight was the sign someone posted by the officer at the front door:

It's a BOMB. Go back to your room, wait, calm down, and put away your red badge. No one cares how much you do for this country.
-Everyone else"

This morning, there was a bomb scare on F and 19th street. As a result, security officers came Mitchell (a GW dorm on 19th street) to prevent anyone from leaving, presumably to protect us from the bomb. Since nobody really knew what was going on, it was pretty stressful, and scary. The security officer didn't seem to know anything, but we kept hearing that there may have been a real bomb.

In spite of the fear that some interns, myself included, felt for our lives, other interns had other worries. I was astounded at the number of people who thought that their red badges would convince the security guard that they "really had to leave" and had "important work to get done." I couldn't figure out why so many people would elect to sit in the lobby for like four hours to wait when it was hot and crowded and gross, so I actually asked a group why they didn't just wait in their rooms. One girl, of course sporting a red badge, looked at me self-importantly and said, "Because I have to go to work as soon as we're allowed to leave."

Someone finally taped a sign up by the door that said the following:

"Guys. It's a BOMB. Put away your red badges and calm down, nobody cares."

I really don't understand why interns think they are so important. Last I checked, the threat of death is a little more imminent than your office's urgent need for someone to lick their stamps.

Heard: The Nuclear War of ...

Our new bodyman was looking at the clock in our Senate office (the clock with the lights on it to denoted votes). And he was remarking that in the event of a nuclear war all the lights go off and there are 12 bells (the validity of this seems dubious to me but I digress).

Then one of our interns, and mind you, one of our BEST AND BRIGHTEST interns in fact asked him, “Has it ever happened before?!” Our confused bodyman spun around and answered very truthfully… “No there haven’t been any nuclear wars.”

Spotted: Gorgeous Hair

I walked into a men's room in a House office building, and standing in the middle of the bathroom is an intern, slowly and very deliberately stroking his hair. He was totally oblivious to the three other people having to walk around him to use the toilets and wash their hands. He just kept staring into the mirror and petting himself. This person will likely win a seat in Congress within 20 years.

Heard: Captain Trade to the Rescue?

This happened last summer, but at the time I was unfamiliar with this blog. Last summer we were receiving a lot of calls on cap and trade, as I'm sure many offices were. After fielding several calls from slightly angry constituents, one of our interns approached me with a humorous question:
"I have a question. I'm talking to a lot of people who are mad at Captain Trade. Who is that and what did he do?"

Spotted: Her 21st - Part of the Public Record

I am an intern at one of the Executive Branch Departments that is hosting about fifty interns spread across the various offices. For the summer, the Department decided to provide programming for us interns and help us network with each other by setting up an email list serve. Most of the interns are linked into the list serve via their work emails and so, technically, anything sent to or from the list serve becomes part of the public record. Initially the list serve was used to inform fellow interns about conferences and networking events but within the past two days, two emails that are definitely not appropriate to be sending using government email addresses (both emerged from their emails) have appeared on the list.

1) In a "Weekly Intern" email, letting us know about upcoming Brown Bags with Assistant Secretaries and the Staff vs. Interns softball game, the intern in charged of organizing the intern programming decided to announce that it was his 21st birthday. Attached to the email was a long word document detailing the pub crawl he intended to go on later that night (mind you this is a Monday). I need not mention that the majority of interns at our Department are undergraduates and quite a few are under 21. But even so, why on earth would you send this over work email?

But, this was not enough to warrant sending in to DC Intern Blog until I received the following, today:

2) Enjoy a Good Read!

Hey everyone!
You guys should check out my blog sometime! It will either make you informed, pissed or make you laugh! Enjoy when you have a moment!
[LINK REMOVED] -- blog in which she shares her political views on everything from General McChrystal to McDonalds.
You can also follow on facebook, twitter or subscribe to the feed, if you enjoy it !
Take care!

--Stupid Intern
Luckily said email promptly got pushed to my Junk Mail (@ 3:52 p.m., as in during the work day), but since my job involves receiving email responses from many individuals outside my agency I check the junk mail frequently. It should also be noted that blogs, facebook, and twitter are inaccessible from work, and for good reason! You're interning to work, not to send emails to the other interns plugging your blog! I am really tempted to figure out what office she is working in and forward said email to her supervisor. Luckily she's smart enough not to talk about her internship on that blog...yet.

Note to interns everywhere: work email is for work, not for advertising your debauchery or plugging your blogs.

Heard: Fire Alarm Every Morning at 10:00 AM

I am a current hilltern who is constantly shocked by the bold ignorance displayed by so many of my (dare I say) colleagues, and today was no different. While attending a hearing this morning bells rang for attendance in the house. I thought little of it since I had read the schedule for today and knew that votes were scheduled for that time. The interns behind me, however; were shocked and I had to work hard to hide my smile as I heard the following conversation:

Intern 1: "What the hell is that noise?"
Intern 2: "Maybe its the fire alarm?"
Intern 1: "Oh look the clock lit up!"
Intern 2: "Oh yeah I've heard about that, I think the red light means the hearing will get over then."
Intern 1: "I've heard that too, I didn't know they were so strict about it."

To those poor interns I can only imagine your baffled expressions every time the House is called to vote. It must be puzzling to stare at the clock wondering why it lights up daily.

Spotted: Soccer Mania

One of our stellar crop of interns is keeping a group of tour-bound constituents waiting to watch the end of the soccer game. At least this will be only the third time in two weeks one of our jewels makes your blog. What is wrong with these people? Could this experience mean any less to them? Sigh.