Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Spotted: Interns Should Check out Hawk 'n Dove

The Hawk 'n' Dove is the oldest restaurant on the Hill as well as home to great deals for interns. Monday through Friday they offer half priced burgers and chicken sandwiches at lunch if you have your intern ID. Happy Hour Monday-Friday is from 4-7pm and has $2.50 rail drinks and bottled beer, plus $2 pints on Thursday and Friday. The upstairs dance floor with a DJ is open Thursday-Saturday nights and also has great drink deals.

Spotted: Love - Zero?

New intern in my office of a federal government agency, on the same floor as most of the political appointees and the Secretary. She seems nice, but the first thing I noticed this morning is the short pink tennis skirt this morning and strappy stiletto heels (with appropriate black blazer). Honey, it looks good on ya, but it's really not appropriate office wear.

Heard: Camels and Karaoke

Friday night I'm at a shitty karaoke bar in Adams Morgan and have just done my standby, including hyping "Yo! We got any summer interns in the house? [pause for cheers from half the crowd] Go home soon" between the second and third verses. I go to refill my drink and on the stairs pass a girl, about 20, wearing a somewhat substantial white shirt/sweater thing that went down to her waist, and.. sky blue leggings. Just leggings. Bright attention-grabbing leggings. (There are multiple reports of visible camel toe.) Wha... Okay, I'm feeling brash. "Excuse me," I exhort, "but honest question: do you consider yourself to be wearing pants right now?"

She wasn't even taken aback. "Why, yes I am," defiantly, as if Sarah Palin was being asked if she was proud of the troops. Question answered. Twenty minutes later she threw up all over the bar. (Like, on the bar itself.) And desperately tried to clean it up herself, up to the point of shouting at the bartender "no, go away, I'll take care of it" when he came over with napkins and a rag.

Heard: DC is a Colony

I work in a law/consulting firm that has [too] many summer interns both paid and unpaid. Some are law students and others here as undergrads and for the most part they are competent and efficient (not the red badge of honor type). This morning I was working on plotting some locations with some of the new interns and showing them how to determine which cities on the map to mark and for what. We were looking at the East coast when Intern #1, a 1L at a top-ten law school, asks "Which states was DC was made up of"? Quick on her feet Intern #2, a 2L law school student from a different top-ten law school responds "Its not made up of any, DC was one of the original 13 colonies."

I could not hold my laughter back as I corrected her that indeed the District of Columbia was originally made up of land ceded by Maryland and Virginia but since then Virginia's area has retro-ceded back into the Commonwealth. Both interns were baffled by the idea of this and the thought of land "flip flopping between states like that." It was not until I showed the soon to be Esquires the Washington D.C. Wikipedia page that they fully believed me.

Intern #1 then asked "What's a Commonwealth?" I told her to Google it and walked out of the room.

Spotted: I'm Just an Intern ... but I want you Nonetheless - w4m (NW)

From Craigslist: You are 8 years my senior but I could care less. You work down the hall and really the best part of the morning is seeing you in the board meetings and trying to catch your glance. I can never tell by your glances if you can understand my eyes. Sometimes I feel like you intentionally ignore me...hopefully the case, as it would signify shyness. We have had short buoyant conversations before that indicate that we are two friendly folk that would at least superficially get along. I will be here all summer and I just hope you read this, or some other staffer at an organization with interns, and rethink those glances that cute goofy but somewhat awkward intern so earnestly practices each morning before her presentation. And at the least.... at the very least, please reciprocate.

Spotted: A Midriff?

Spotted were two Congressional interns dressed for success at a morning event near the Hill. One young (relatively tall) woman looked quite professional wearing dress pants and proudly displaying her red badge of courage on her jacket. But upon taking off her jacket to sit, she also had the courage to bare her midriff. I don't know if it was the hot and humid weather, or that they don't make women's shirts long enough, but miss, that's not appropriate work attire.

The second intern showed up halfway through the panel discussion. During the break, the second intern told the person next to me that she was sent from Senator X's office to take notes, but really looked like she just got out of the shower, and wanted to borrow notes for the Senator. Next time remember to arrive on time and to wear a bra.

Heard: End of the World as We Know it

One of my firm’s summer interns, sounding genuinely concerned, asked the following question during a discussion on NASA’s budget:

“Isn’t NASA predicting that the world is going to end in, like, two years?”

Heard: GOOOAAAALLLLLL

I work in a newsroom, and we all have televisions next to our desks to watch hearings on C-SPAN or breaking news on one of the 24-hour news channels. One new intern in the office, however, decided that the TV in her cubicle was for entertainment purposes.

When one of the World Cup soccer games came on, she turned on the TV and told everyone not to talk to her for two hours. She loudly reacted whenever the team she was rooting for scored a goal or made a bad play, and even screamed expletives in Spanish at the TV. I understand that the World Cup is a once-every-four-years event, and I understand getting excited for a sporting event, but if you are going to be unproductive for two hours, don't disturb the rest of the office with your outbursts.

Heard: When is Cinco de Mayo?

This was from a metro ride home on May 5, 2010. Sorry it’s a little late, but better late than never.

I work for a trade association and on my metro ride home, I was blessed to be seated next to DC's most brilliant Senate interns. As their thoughtful conversation progressed I learned they were finishing their time as interns and actually got to meet their respective bosses that week. They then discussed plans for their blow out weekend. Intern A then stopped the conversation with the interjection, "Dude I totally forgot today was Cinco de Mayo." Intern B responded, "Wait, really?" Intern A said, "Yeah, someone reminded me at the end of work and to think I would have missed out on some tequila." Intern B said, "They should really advertise it more, I mean how am I supposed to know that Cinco de Mayo is on May 5th."

Better part of this story was the next day telling my brilliant officemate who is a meeting planner and puts together events for 500+ people and her response. Which was - yeah I never know when Cinco de Mayo is until I get an invitation for a party my friend throws every year on May 5th. It’s confusing.