Friday, June 11, 2010

Spotted: I'm Just Keeping it Real

Sorry for the length, but I had to submit this one in its entirety. Below is an email we received, verbatim (names removed), from our star summer intern this morning explaining his absence. To give a little background -- we are a small nonprofit organization and we recruit our interns from established programs that, we thought, provided basic training on office culture/professionalism.

Before printing and framing this email, I thought I'd share it with the world. Note to interns everywhere: while it's good to communicate with your supervisors, the example below perfectly demonstrates over-familiarity and over-sharing. Keep it short,
professional, and to the point. I'm honestly at a loss as to how to respond to his message lol. There are at least 4 or 5 quotes here that will go down in our organization's intern history.


Hello, good morning!

The good news is: I wanted to email you to inform you of my absence today. I feel really bad/sad about sending this email. I really, really enjoyed my first day at , even if it was a lot of reading, because I like the layout and direction of this internship program, working with our interns, and having a chill boss like you (I'm just keeping it real). So not being able to make it to work today, well, it had to be something serious.

I really pulled a stupid move and somehow locked myself out of my apartment (please don't laugh at me haha). Not only did my phone run out of battery (so I couldn't call security or my roommates to get inside), I had to sleep in a women's size small American apparel jacket. The lack of good sleep, the cold, and wandering around at night to find shelter did wonders for my health, and now I'm feeling especially terrible. I know I informed you earlier on Tuesday that I had gotten sick, but it was manageable throughout the week. Right now, I can't stop coughing, my eyes are swollen, and my body feels immobile and feverish. The only reason I'm sending this email to you at 8:50AM and not sooner is because this was the quickest I could gain access to my internet and my apartment.

So in brief, I genuinely apologize for missing out on a great opportunity to continue to build upon my internship experience during the first week because I enjoy everything about but I believe that today would be best spent recovering and getting rest. I am ailing so please send me your best wishes - I do hope to get fully well by the end of the weekend...

But, there's always good news, and I wanted to inform you that in a week or two, there's a great chance I'll be able to work full time (M-F) at . I'll definitely keep you posted on that, and I look forward to seeing you on Monday.

Sorry again for the weird start to the internship, but I promise I will be reliable and dependable especially because I know I haven't been able to showcase that very much so far. Best wishes to you today!

All the best,

Just, wow.

Spotted: Underage and Weepy at the 9:30 Club

I showed up to a sold out show sans ticket hoping to score an extra from someone out front. I was having awful luck and every other person on the street looking for extra tickets found them except for me....and I wasn't interested in paying $60. The band was already on their first or second song and I was about to give up and walk away when all of a sudden two interns were escorted out by the bouncer. (Granted, I did not see exactly why they got tossed, this was just the aftermath and it had something to do with being underage and alcohol.)

Intern Girl 1 to Bouncer (slurring and getting loud): But you cant throw us out, we didn't even do anything!!!
Bouncer to Intern 1: Look, we saw you drinking so you've got to leave.
Intern 1 (getting more surly): Look, we work in Senator/Congressman _______'s office and this is just so messed up! How can you do this to us? (She literally name dropped her boss to the bouncer)
Bouncer to intern 1: Okay, you've got two choices, you can walk away and go enjoy the rest of your night somewhere else or you can explain your story to the police. Take your pick.
Bouncer to intern Girl 2: Whats your name? Let me see some ID
Intern 2 (voice getting shaky): says her name
Intern 2 (on the verge of tears): Am I going to lose my internship!?

The bouncer and I about lost it after this little performance. They took off and the bouncer let me buy their ticket from the box office for $25!

Thank you underage interns for making my night, it was a great show.

To intern girl 1: Did you really think anyone at 9:30 that night gave a rip who you work for, let alone the burly doorman?
To Intern girl 2: You will lose your internship, but not for this...just give this town another month.

Spotted: Dressed for Success

I am an intern working on the Hill this summer and have been widely entertained by this blog, to the point that I have begun looking for other interns that should be included within. As such, when I headed down the elevator from my office yesterday, I was in for a surprise. The elevator was full, including 4 or 5 other interns who were dressed very professionally. When the elevator stopped on the second floor, two more interns, red badges clearly visible, wanted to get in the elevator but there was not enough room, prompting the male intern there to look at everyone and say "Oh, well that ain't gonna work," then fist-bumping an intern in the elevator as the doors closed. Everyone in the elevator then chuckled, as the intern was proudly supporting his blue seersucker suit, but was wearing old, beat-up, untied white Converse All-Star low tops. I wasn't sure who he worked for, but I'm pretty sure if he worked in my office, they would not have let him in with that particular footwear choice.

Spotted: Deer in Headlights

Dear Interns, when you show up for a meeting at another organization, it's usually good form to know 1) who you're meeting with, 2) what the meeting is about, and 3) the name of the organization hosting the meeting. Showing up with a deer-in-the-headlights look and no information is only going to make me post to this blog the minute after I show you the conference room.

Spotted: Interns Sport Green Badges, Too

Several readers have informed the blog that some Interns now have green badges.