I love your blog, and it makes me quite sad that I don't work on the Hill. However, I work for an Administrative Department in DC. On our intern's first day, he let us know that he was from Maryland and knew D.C. from visiting and even pointed out that he knew landmarks like the 9:30 Club. On his first day, we took him out to lunch at the National Harbor. As we approached, he asked if it was the National Mall, and I replied that no, it was the National Harbor. He pointed out that he knew that the Gaylord Hotel was part of National Harbor, but that the rest of the shopping area was referred to as the National Mall... Sadly, we had to inform him that the National Mall was not an actual shopping complex. He has since been silent about his knowledge of the area.
Spotted walking into the Hart Senate Office Building was a cute young woman sporting a spin on the classic Wall Street banker look: charcoal gray pencil skirt, charcoal gray suiting vest in lieu of blazer, and a white dress shirt buttoned low enough to show off her black lacy bra underneath. Naturally, she was sporting her red badge of courage on her hip. Someone should tell her this is an office, not a Maxim Magazine photo shoot.
Scene: Two staffers enjoying a relaxed lunch at the bar at a local dining establishment on the House side during Recess. Intern, red badge of courage prominently displayed, approaches bar and sits down. Staffers quiet down to listen in and see if he says anything stupid...
Intern: "I would like one taco with chicken and one taco with beef to go please."
Bartender: "Okay. Anything else?"
Intern: "Yes, Do you have chips to go?"
Bartender: "Yes, we can give you chips and salsa to go."
Intern (while conducting serious business on his blackberry): "Okay does that come with Salsa?
Bartender (scowling): "Yes."
Intern: "Okay, what do you put in your tacos?"
Bar Man (A little annoyed at this point): "It is a taco buddy. Lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and whatever meat you order. Anything else?"
To the Senate Hilltern riding the Red Line to Tenleytown tonight: I, too, am an intern. And while you might be struggling to adjust to your 9 - 6 hours, aka, a normal workday, I am struggling to adjust to my 12-hour days. At the end of another long day, the last thing I want to do on my Metro ride home is listen to you (tipsily? After all, you apparently get off at 6 but don't head home until 8) chat up first your fellow Hilltern and then, as soon as she gets off at Dupont, turn to the girl sitting next to you who was sweet enough to listen you blather on about how easy your job is, nothing but free food and booze.
Among many other charming anecdotes I learned about you and your life, as I did when I gave up trying to read over the sound of your loud voice, was that you are an avid reader of this very blog! You mentioned that "Like, half the posts are older men complaining about how the girls dress." Your office must not have hired you for your observation skills, since the other half of the posts here are about self-important Hillterns who blather loudly on the Metro. Hope you manage to catch this post, since I told you to be on the look-out for it!
This blog is dedicated to those DC residents who eagerly await (or completely dread) Intern Season. Essential to the function of offices in DC, interns are willing to complete tasks that are often considered undesirable. For many interns, this blog will not apply. For those interns to whom it does apply, we hope that you use these anecdotes to change your behavior and, eventually, change the stigma attached to DC interns.
*PLEASE NOTE: As with the viral nature of the Internet, many offices are concerned about anonymity and poor reflections upon them - please be assured that no office or individual will ever be singled out. This blog operates under complete anonymity and will never be of a libelous nature; it will never post any identifying information including, but not limited to: place of work or residence, name, or congressional office. We welcome you to submit any absurd intern stories you are bound to acquire. TWITTER EXCEPTION: we assume you give us permission to re-tweet any submissions you send our way via your public Twitter account.
To the interns: please use this blog as a learning tool. Godspeed and best of luck this summer. email@example.com