Friday, I was given the assignment to get signatures from 18 different offices for a letter. All was going well until the 16th office. I presented the person at the front desk with the letter, a signature pen, and told them this letter requires a signature, thinking nothing was out of the ordinary. As the person began to sign it, a staffer yelled out, "John, what the hell are you doing? Give that letter to Jane right now!" To my chagrin, the intern had signed his own name next to those of 15 other Members of Congress. He had ruined a perfectly good sheet.
Fortunately vengeance was served and he had to recollect each of the signatures for his stupidity.
There are these two interns who coincidentally have ended up in the same metro car as me multiple times over the past few weeks. Each time I've seen them, they've been loud, boisterous, fist-pounding each other over everything the other said, and of course, proudly displaying their red badges for everyone on the metro to roll their eyes at. The first time I witnessed these guys, they were loudly bragging about drinking and getting laid at their respective colleges. The second time, they were complaining about how annoyed they were with DC tourists. The third time, one of them so humbly stated:
"It's almost sad, like all my friends from college just aren't accomplished; they're spending their summers like life guarding or doing generic office work. But look at us: we're working for the United-f**king-States CONGRESS. We haven't even graduated college and we're already making names for ourselves."
This blog is dedicated to those DC residents who eagerly await (or completely dread) Intern Season. Essential to the function of offices in DC, interns are willing to complete tasks that are often considered undesirable. For many interns, this blog will not apply. For those interns to whom it does apply, we hope that you use these anecdotes to change your behavior and, eventually, change the stigma attached to DC interns.
*PLEASE NOTE: As with the viral nature of the Internet, many offices are concerned about anonymity and poor reflections upon them - please be assured that no office or individual will ever be singled out. This blog operates under complete anonymity and will never be of a libelous nature; it will never post any identifying information including, but not limited to: place of work or residence, name, or congressional office. We welcome you to submit any absurd intern stories you are bound to acquire. TWITTER EXCEPTION: we assume you give us permission to re-tweet any submissions you send our way via your public Twitter account.
To the interns: please use this blog as a learning tool. Godspeed and best of luck this summer. firstname.lastname@example.org