Today we had an intern come our office to collect signatures for a letter. It's a simple task. You stand in the front office and you wait for someone to sign the letter.
While he waited and without asking permission, Super Intern decided to walk all throughout our back office like he owned the place. The whole staff had the same quizzical reaction of "Who the hell is this kid and what the hell is he doing here?" He even decided to introduce himself to our Chief of Staff (who was in a meeting) and he tried to drop the name of our LD (as if he knew him) and completely mispronounced it. It's a common name, kinda like "Smith."
From there, still standing in the back office, the Best Intern Ever proceeded to have a pissing contest with our two interns over how great he was. According to him, he was almost done with his internship and was leaving to South America to do his grad degree. One of our interns graduated from Princeton and the other is on the verge of getting a job on the Hill. Neither were all too impressed.
Captain Intern then bragged that as a "press intern" he had the monumental task of doing the clips every morning, a task which took him "three and half hours." Our interns also do clips. It only takes them half an hour.
The crowning jewel moment though came right at the end, when this illustrious intern offered one of our interns his business card "from his last JOB." The card read as follows: Joe Schmoe. President, Student Body. Associated Students of the University of BLANK. Some job there; I wonder if he gets benefits?
Oh one more thing, apparently the letter for which he was collecting signatures...yeah, he dropped outside our office and our staff assistant saved his ass by picking it up.
This blog is dedicated to those DC residents who eagerly await (or completely dread) Intern Season. Essential to the function of offices in DC, interns are willing to complete tasks that are often considered undesirable. For many interns, this blog will not apply. For those interns to whom it does apply, we hope that you use these anecdotes to change your behavior and, eventually, change the stigma attached to DC interns.
*PLEASE NOTE: As with the viral nature of the Internet, many offices are concerned about anonymity and poor reflections upon them - please be assured that no office or individual will ever be singled out. This blog operates under complete anonymity and will never be of a libelous nature; it will never post any identifying information including, but not limited to: place of work or residence, name, or congressional office. We welcome you to submit any absurd intern stories you are bound to acquire. TWITTER EXCEPTION: we assume you give us permission to re-tweet any submissions you send our way via your public Twitter account.
To the interns: please use this blog as a learning tool. Godspeed and best of luck this summer. firstname.lastname@example.org