Male House Intern waiting impatiently in line to be served around 8:30 AM, with his red Hill Intern badge clearly visible dangling from his belt. Starts to fidget and make loud sighs as the line is not picking up speed. He then suddenly looses it and shouts up to the guy being served, about 5 ahead, if he could jump to the front since he had to get to the Hill by 9 AM for an important meeting. The guy ignores him, and then the intern shouts again this time pulling his clearly red badge off his belt and shouting “YOU DON’T BELIEVE I WORK ON THE HILL!!! SEE!! I WORK FOR REPRESENTATIVE[NJ]! LET ME JUMP THE LINE!!” After being further ignored the intern becomes silent again, but continues to visibly fidget and fume until it is his turn to order.
The intern then orders a coffee and a bagel with cream cheese and lox, but gets mad when they tell him they don’t have any lox. He proceeds to yell at the women behind the counter that the only proper way to have a bagel in the morning is with lox, and that everybody from New Jersey knows this. He then claims that he would be the laughing stock of his office if he walked in without lox on his bagel since it is not “the New Jersey way”. Finally after about 5 minutes of yelling with the cashier, keep in mind he was ‘in a rush’ and had to be at the Hill by 9 AM, he gives in and gets a bagel with cream cheese.
Upon receiving the bagel, he gives it one look and rejects it, handing it back to the cashier saying “this isn’t a bagel, NOBODY in DC knows how to bake a proper bagel” and the storms out, throwing 2 dollars on the counter for the coffee and leaving the bagel in the hands of the cashier.
(This New Jersey native is writing this while enjoying his delicious bagel with cream cheese from Firehook, WITHOUT Lox. Oh and if you are reading this intern, I know the Congressman you work for and his Chief of Staff.)