Thursday, June 04, 2009

Spotted: Waddle Waddle Plop

As those of us who have been around the Hill for at least a month know all too well, Hustler magazine loves to send our elected officials a free copy of its latest issue. Now, I don't know what other offices do with this "gift," but we would recognize the envelope and toss it in the recycling bin. Simple enough, right? Well, not when you combine the World's Most Awkward Intern and the act of forgetting to tell him about the envelope. Allow me to replay the scene with as much gusto as I can muster in the written word.

Enter: Awkward Intern (AI). He is too nervous to talk to anyone. This is usually the case, so we think it is normal. When he wants to talk to you, he traipses lightly across the room in a waddle-like fashion and plops himself in front of you.

AI: waddle waddle waddle waddle plop. "Um." face turns bright red.

Staffer: "Do you need a brown paper bag to breathe in?"

AI: "Ummmmmmmm."

Staffer: "Your inhaler? An epi-pen?"

AI holds up the infamous envelope

Staffer: "ohhhhhhhhh."

AI: waddle waddle waddle waddle plop in chair. breathe with difficulty.