Sunday, June 14, 2009

Heard: Remember, DC is a Very Small City

So I ran into some interns tonight as I was expecting, being that it was Georgetown on a Saturday night.  After living in DC for five years now, I expected some stereotypical intern antics, but this was just too funny to pass up. I ran into about five interns wearing the red badge of pride (mind you this is a Saturday night after midnight, obviously they didn't come straight from a work event).  One of the guys walking towards the bar was obviously the top dog of the group (wearing a tucked in blue and white striped polo shirt, popped collar surrounded by croakies, along with white Sperrys, yellow shorts. and a backwards hat from a prominent Southern state school), and bumped me out of my place at the bar to get a round of drinks, after I was in line for about 10 minutes with my friends.  I then listened in to his conversation with his fellow interns as follows:

Intern 1: Dude, I'm so pumped about this Supreme Court nomination thing.

Intern 2:  I know, I can't wait to get involved with the research and interviews for her background check.

Intern 1:  I know right? I mean, I know [coordinator's name] hasn't asked us for help yet, but I'm thinking he'll realize soon how much of an asset our investigative skills will be towards Congrssman X's vote.

Intern 2: I know man, they wouldn't have hired us if we weren't qualified for something like this, they must have known this was coming beforehand.

Intern 1: This is awesome, who else at school can say they got to be a part of something like this?  I've already read her wikipedia page like 10 times, I'm so ready man.

(I couldn't hold it in anymore and then started to outwardly laugh out loud, and the alpha male facing me confronted me)

Intern 1: Hey brah, what are you laughing at?

Me:  Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Intern:  Listen man, we're really important people here having our own conversation.  Butt out dude.

Me:  (Smiling ear-to-ear) No problem buddy. Enjoy your night.

Intern: Listen, you are obviously drunk (I hadn't gotten a drink yet since I just got there) and don't know anything about the Hill.  We are going into the office tomorrow to work on this nonstop because our opinion is in high demand, only the cream of the crop get to work in our office and obviously they'll want to know where we stand on such an important issue.  Just mind your own business and let me and my colleagues get our drinks so we can get home.

I was at first shocked into a look of bewilderment for a split second or two the obviously underaged kid's rudeness, but I then went on to tell him that not only had I worked in that Congressman's office as an intern during my freshman spring semester, but interned alongside his coordinator who just so happened to be a good friend of mine from our days in undergrad, and that I would make sure to pass along how hard his interns were willing to work tomorrow on their extremely important project after a hard night of drinking in Georgetown due to their intense dedication.  I then also reminded him that only the Senate will be voting on the confirmation, so I was surprised that [coordinator's name] would need his interns in on a Sunday for background checks and interviews.

The intern then blushed pretty substantially, turned around, and stammered back to his other colleagues.  All five of them then filed out the stairs to the front door to leave in disgust. I felt bad that I burst his bubble, but I guess they still don't understand that DC residents all know that Hill interns only open mail and answer phones yet.