Thursday, August 21, 2014

Spotted: Sleeping Beauty (aka Sleeptern II)


I recently started as an intern on the Hill.  Another new intern and I were talking to a "seasoned" intern, and this conversation ensued:
Seasoned intern: "Yeah, there's nothing to do during recess. I'm so bored that I take a five minute nap every time I go to the bathroom."

Me: "You're kidding, right?"

Seasoned intern: "Don't you guys do that too?"

New intern: "No, man. I just do that at my desk."
They were completely serious.  Apparently interns, like kindergarteners, need naptime.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Heard: Is My Boss a Republican or a Democrat?

I am currently interning for my Senator.  When I started my first week, another intern was finishing up her last week on the job.  The intern coordinator put us together so I could learn the ways of the office.  One of our assignments was to find pictures for a presentation - an extremely simple task.  While we were scrolling through photos, the soon-to-depart intern turned to me and said, "Is [Senator's Name] a Democrat?"  

Our senator has been in office for several decades.  *siiiiiiiiiigh*

Friday, August 15, 2014

Spotted: Nice Day for a Swim


Spotted on a yellow line metro train - Capitol Hill intern with a badge clipped to his pants.  Would be normal, even expected.  However, the badge was clipped to his bathing suit and it was 11:45am on a Sunday.  

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Heard: Jessica and Harvey Would Not Approve

This summer's interns have a habit of not working, and not asking for work - but today's incident takes the cake.  The intern on back office duty apparently spent several hours watching TV on the couch in the main office (read: not the back office).  She eventually went back to her desk, and foolishly I assumed she decided to work.  She reappeared 10 minutes before the day was over, burst into the main office and announced, "so I watched an episode of Suits..."  I calmly responded, "At work."  She replied, "oh don't worry I was reading some articles at the same time."  "At work," I repeated, only for her to roll her eyes and finish rehashing the episode.  Thank goodness I'm not the intern coordinator, though I wish I were so I could write an award-winning reference for her someday.  

She's definitely no Mike Ross.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Heard: Pass the Hustler, Please

As many know, Larry Flynt is kind enough to send a monthly copy of Hustler Magazine to every Member of Congress.  Most offices promptly recycle the magazine.  However, during a recent discussion regarding weird mail, one of my interns mentioned the Hustler magazine ... and loudly asked for the next one.  Unfortunately, he was serious.  Too bad he won't be around to see the Christmas card.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Heard: I Keep Getting Older...

Overheard in a Dirksen hallway - two giggly girls wandering around quickly.  It was difficult to tell their age - could have been teens, could have been twenties. 

Bubbly #1: Yeah, haha, we hung out with them on Saturday. 
Giggling #2: Are his friends cute? 
Bubbly #1: Oh yeah. Wanna pick one? 
Giggling #2: For sure! 

::Commence giggling stride::

I distinctly recall one of them reciting these sage words: I keep getting older, they just stay the same.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Spotted: Just Like a Peacock


This morning around 9:00am there was a long, slow-moving security line to get into Cannon.  A group of interns near the front spotted a friend at the very back of the line.  They proceeded to waive him forward.  As the intern proudly strutted to the front of the line, cutting in front of the tired (and likely already late) staffers and lobbyists quietly waiting their turn, one of his friends yelled out “good morning, sexy!”

God bless intern season.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Spotted: Intern Flower Child


Last week, I saw a girl wearing a tunic top (emphasis on "top") in a flowered paisley pattern.  The problem?  She was wearing it like a dress.  This "dress" just barely covered her rear and was, quite unfortunately, too tight for her figure.  To make the outfit worse, the tunic had long wide sleeves that were too long for her arms.  She was also wearing leather sandals with tassels.  This was a work day.

How did I know she was an intern?  She topped off her stellar outfit with a lovely green intern badge around her neck.