Spotted: Little Red Running Hood

I was on my way to the metro station this morning, when I almost get plowed over by a woman running down the street. As I step out of the way, I notice that this woman is wearing the infamous red badge. She's also wearing danskin shorts and a sports bra, and an armband which her ipod was attached to.  I'm all for exercise, but she could have left her intern badge at home.

Spotted: Metal What?

Yesterday I was behind a new intern coming through the metal detector.  He carried his tinfoil-covered lunch through, which of course lit up the machine, and the guard told him to his lunch down.  He tried again, and the machine again beeped when he went through.  The intern stopped and said, "oh, maybe it is my change," and proceeded to scoop about $10 worth of coins out of his pocket.  Tried again, with yet another beep.  This time, his cell phone.  When he went back through to try again, he carried the bowl of change back through, again setting off the alarm.  After several minutes and failed attempts, the guard teased him about sending down the office intern supervisor for metal detector training.

Heard: U.S. Senate v. Congress

Intern, while sending out letters to members of Congress inviting them to an upcoming event: "So wait...if he's a Senator, isn't he in the U.S. Senate, not the Congress?"

Me, after a brief moment of disbelief, explains our government's basic infrastructure, which I recall from 2nd grade.

Intern: "Ok, so what if they are in the House of Representatives?"

Me: "I think when you go back to school you should take a U.S. Politics class."

Intern nervously laughs and walks away.

Heard: DC Interns - Year Round

Hi! I have been an intern in DC since June, and am staying on for the fall semester. Please continue this fabulous blog into the fall; it has kept me laughing through all the good and bad days. I promise: we interns will continue doing less-intelligent things in the fall semester. 

Thank you!

[Editors Note: Per popular request, the DC [Summer] Intern Blog will remain open year-round, so please continue to send us your entertaining stories for publication!]

Heard: Advice Needed

[Editors Note: this was an e-mail submitted looking for information re: upcoming internship.] Hi, I am starting a congressional internship this fall....and I was wondering if they drug test. I don't think they do, from what I've read. I smoked a joint with a friend last night and just wanted to find out for sure. Thanks!

Spotted: BWI to Hartford

Dear Summer Intern:

This isn't the Dirksen Building, the Metro, or even Pour House.  This is the Southwest flight to Hartford out of BWI.  

SO TAKE OFF YOUR STUPID RED BADGE!

Thanks.  

Heard: Shotgun!

Dear Interns,

No matter how much you want to get the front seat, it is never advisable to yell "shotgun" while leaving an armed security checkpoint.  It makes the guards a bit testy.

Sincerely,
Hit the floor

Heard: Meet Me at the Whore House

Since I started reading this blog, I’ve been anxiously waiting for at least one of my fellow interns at a prominent NGO in DC to do something idiotic enough to merit being posted here. This is a series of email exchanges sent to the office intern email listserv, using work email of course, between my fellow interns.

Intern 1: Hey Guys, There’s been some talk of Happy Hour/Dinner tonight so for anyone who would like to go: meet in the lobby at 5:00pm for Happy Hour at the Pour (not whore) House...and we'll grab some drinks there until like 5:30 and then head over to Tequila (or is it Tortilla?) Coast for dinner so that people who aren't 21 can join in the fun and don't have to wait around the office for too long.

Intern 2: WHAT? I THOUGHT WE AGREED ON WHORE HOUSE? See you guys at five ;) [and yes, it was written in all caps and in size 24 font]

It gets better. Today, we receive an email from the Intern Coordinator:

Subject: Please keep emails professional

Hello Everyone,

In light of some of the emails that were included in the string from yesterday, I feel it is necessary to remind you to please keep your emails professional. As I mentioned during orientation, you may absolutely use the intern email listserv to organize lunches, happy hours, etc with one another, but please keep the emails professional. Another reminder from orientation: I am not the only supervisor on the intern email burst. The other supervisor on the email burst is the organization’s Associate Director of Human Resources.

Heard: WMATA Fairy

One morning, a pair of interns sitting behind me had the following exchange:

Intern #1: I always put my badge on right after getting off the Metro. I get off at Smithsonian, and there are so many tourists. I wouldn't want to be mistaken for one of them.

Intern #2: Yeah, totally. They always gawk. I always make sure I look down [to seem disinterested in our nation's splendor?]

Intern #1: Yeah. I really want to get one of those SmartTrip-card-thingies. They're so cool.

Intern #2: Yeah, I hear you get like $15.00 free when you get one.

Hint: don't mock "tourists" when you call it a "SmartTrip-card-thingy" and think that some WMATA fairy gives you $15 of fare for free.