I am currently interning for my Senator. When I started my first week, another intern was finishing up her last week on the job. The intern coordinator put us together so I could learn the ways of the office. One of our assignments was to find pictures for a presentation - an extremely simple task. While we were scrolling through photos, the soon-to-depart intern turned to me and said, "Is [Senator's Name] a Democrat?" Our senator has been in office for several decades. *siiiiiiiiiigh*
Spotted on a yellow line metro train - Capitol Hill intern with a badge clipped to his pants. Would be normal, even expected. However, the badge was clipped to his bathing suit and it was 11:45am on a Sunday.
This summer's interns have a habit of not working, and not asking for work - but today's incident takes the cake. The intern on back office duty apparently spent several hours watching TV on the couch in the main office (read: not the back office). She eventually went back to her desk, and foolishly I assumed she decided to work. She reappeared 10 minutes before the day was over, burst into the main office and announced, "so I watched an episode of Suits..." I calmly responded, "At work." She replied, "oh don't worry I was reading some articles at the same time." "At work," I repeated, only for her to roll her eyes and finish rehashing the episode. Thank goodness I'm not the intern coordinator, though I wish I were so I could write an award-winning reference for her someday. She's definitely no Mike Ross.
As many know, Larry Flynt is kind enough to send a monthly copy of Hustler Magazine to every Member of Congress. Most offices promptly recycle the magazine. However, during a recent discussion regarding weird mail, one of my interns mentioned the Hustler magazine ... and loudly asked for the next one. Unfortunately, he was serious. Too bad he won't be around to see the Christmas card.
Overheard in a Dirksen hallway - two giggly girls wandering around quickly. It was difficult to tell their age - could have been teens, could have been twenties. Bubbly #1: Yeah, haha, we hung out with them on Saturday. Giggling #2: Are his friends cute? Bubbly #1: Oh yeah. Wanna pick one? Giggling #2: For sure! ::Commence giggling stride:: I distinctly recall one of them reciting these sage words: I keep getting older, they just stay the same.
This morning around 9:00am there was a long, slow-moving security line to get into Cannon. A group of interns near the front spotted a friend at the very back of the line. They proceeded to waive him forward. As the intern proudly strutted to the front of the line, cutting in front of the tired (and likely already late) staffers and lobbyists quietly waiting their turn, one of his friends yelled out “good morning, sexy!”
Last week, I saw a girl wearing a tunic top (emphasis on "top") in a flowered paisley pattern. The problem? She was wearing it like a dress. This "dress" just barely covered her rear and was, quite unfortunately, too tight for her figure. To make the outfit worse, the tunic had long wide sleeves that were too long for her arms. She was also wearing leather sandals with tassels. This was a work day.
How did I know she was an intern? She topped off her stellar outfit with a lovely green intern badge around her neck.
This blog is dedicated to those DC residents who eagerly await (or completely dread) Intern Season. Essential to the function of offices in DC, interns are willing to complete tasks that are often considered undesirable.
For many interns, this blog will not apply. For those interns to whom it does apply, we hope that you use these anecdotes to change your behavior and, eventually, change the stigma attached to DC interns.
*PLEASE NOTE: As with the viral nature of the Internet, many offices are concerned about anonymity and poor reflections upon them - please be assured that no office or individual will ever be singled out. This blog operates under complete anonymity and will never be of a libelous nature; it will never post any identifying information including, but not limited to: place of work or residence, name, or congressional office. We welcome you to submit any absurd intern stories you are bound to acquire. TWITTER EXCEPTION: we assume you give us permission to re-tweet any submissions you send our way via your public Twitter account.
To the interns: please use this blog as a learning tool. Godspeed and best of luck this summer. firstname.lastname@example.org